Midtown Mission Part 1: Andy's Garage

Here is the mission I have set for myself: To eat at every restaurant in the Midtown Global Market by the end of Summer/start of fall, or at least until it becomes too cold to bike there from my apartment.

Why? Because I love the Market, but I always tend to visit the same one or two places over and over again, so I wanted to force myself to branch out and try more things, at least for the sake of this blog. It's also the perfect distance for a nice bike ride, and I'd like to force myself to do more of that as well. So... I have begun the Midtown Mission.

Andy's Garage was my first choice to begin my mission, not only because I've heard so many raves about their food, but because I always overlook them when I visit. I always figure I can get a burger and fries anywhere, so why not get something more exotic? Anyway, yesterday I finally gave Andy's a try, and it was pretty good, but not exceptional.

Their menu is quite extensive, with a variety of different burgers and sandwiches, but I just got a cheeseburger and fries, because I don't care what you put on a burger, just cheese and pickles is going to be better. The service was great and very fast, although the wait for the food to come was about ten or fifteen minutes, but that's ok because everything was clearly made to order, and unlike many places in the Market, their seating area doesn't feel overcrowded or right in the middle of a busy hallway. And the space is fun to just look at, since it is a pretty nice facsimile of some greasy spoon diner from the fifties, and somehow manages to be cool without being overly obnoxious, if that makes any sense.

The best part of the burger was the bun, which tasted fresh and had that perfect tenderness that made it soft to the bite, but firm enough to not get soggy when wrapped around a juicy cheeseburger. The burger was perfectly cooked (although they didn't ask me how I wanted it done, so be warned that the default is toward well done, or at least mine was) and very juicy and tasted fresh, but I had to admit it was too salty for my tastes. I choose my words their very diplomatically because, as I said, people rave about this place and it's always crowded, so maybe it's just my tastes or maybe it was just an off day. Either way, I found the salt to be overpower and off-putting, which is a shame because everything else seemed so perfect.

The fries were about as fresh as I'll ever get at any restaurant anywhere, since they literally cut up the potato after I ordered, and the difference was amazing. I've never had fries that fresh or that well cooked. However... they were too salty for my tastes. I hate to say it, but there you go. Too salty for my tastes. I'd definitely go back for those fries, and ordering them with no salt shouldn't be a problem considering how they were a whole potato just five minutes before I placed my order.

So that's Andy's Garage, an almost perfect culinary experience, except for the fact that everything was over-salted for my tastes, but I'll definitely give them another try, and I do recommend you try them as well. I did get a pretty good cheeseburger, fries, and a fountain soda for under ten bucks, which is about as cheap a lunch as you'll get at the market. But ask them to go light on the salt.

The Lowbrow

The Lowbrow has slowly become my favorite restaurant in the Twin Cities. I've been going there almost every week or so for the past couple months, and if I've been remiss in writing up a review it's because I've been too busy eating their food to write about how good it is. Now, you'll notice I haven't said the Lowbrow is the best restaurant in the Twin Cities, nor that they have the best food or the most exceptional service: They simply have great food, good service, and an exceptional atmosphere that all adds up to the place that has become my first choice almost any time I'm hungry or just want to sit and get a beer. And I have no regrets about that.

I usually come to the Lowbrow for happy hour, since it's pretty great. They have a nice selection of (mostly) local taps for three bucks, similarly priced glasses of wine, and half price nachos which are fantastic and plentiful even if you just get the half-sized portion. I also really love their happy hour for another reason: It's just outside of Uptown (where I live), so it's usually not too crowded, it's never full of hipsters, frat boys, drunk girls, or just plain douches (no offense to Uptown! As I said, I live there and I love it... but you know...), and it's also a nice bike ride so I can trick myself into getting nachos and a couple beers and still think I'm getting some exercise.

My usual routine is to go to Comic Book College on Wednesday afternoon when their new stuff comes out, then take whatever I got over to Lowbrow where I read comics, drink a couple of Fulton Sweet Child of Vines, and usually get some nachos. During happy hour (3pm-5pm weekdays) the nachos are about three bucks, which is the price of a beer. You can also add on beef or pork or order a side of guacamole for an extra charge, but they don't need it. The nachos are pretty much perfect as is, and the salsa it comes with is fantastic... but I do sometimes get meat because meat makes everything better. But forget about the guacamole, since it's not that good. It was kind of bland and overly thick for my tastes. I don't know if they make their own guacamole or buy another brand, but it's the only thing I've ever tried here that was unspectacular.

Sometimes I skip the nachos (or just come for dinner) and get a burger. Their menu says they use "100% grass-fed Minnesota beef," and while that's all well and good, all I know is that they taste fantastic and come perfectly cooked. Anybody who has read my reviews of burger joints before knows that I love my burgers medium rare and rant and rave when a restaurant can't seem to cook a burger properly. The Lowbrow doesn't have this problem, and every burger I've ordered has come perfectly cooked every time. It always shocks me how rare it is to be able to get a burger that isn't... well...  medium rare. And this isn't because some restaurants are afraid of food-born illness, it's just because lots of places don't know how to cook a burger to order, or -- and I don't know if this is better or worse -- just don't care. The Lowbrow cares, and that's one of the main reasons I keep coming back. I also really love their buns, which are soft and tasty and seem freshly baked. It also shocks me how many places get fancy with their buns and use breads that are all but impossible to bite into, but I don't want to start off on another rant...

The burger I get most often is The Fire Breather, which is "chili rubbed with chipotle gouda, sauteed jalapenos, and spicy mayo." If that doesn't sound good to you, you're crazy. And if it does sound good to you, it's actually even better than you think. This would be on my list of the five or so best burgers I've ever had. I've had their other burgers as well, and they're all good because the quality is in the meat and the preparation, but the Fire Breather is definitely my favorite.

However, I've been off cheese lately (in my attempt to last the entire month of July without eating any cheese or drinking any milk), so I've been branching out. I could order the Fire Breather without cheese, of course, but what would be the point? It's sort of like this upcoming Jason Bourne movie starring Jeremy Renner in the lead. I'm sure it will be a good movie, but I'll just rewatch the ones with Matt Damon, thank you very much. Anyway, I've also had their pulled pork sandwich a few times, and it's pretty great, but it's not going to replace something you'd get at a local, dedicated BBQ joint. But it's still a darn good sandwich. Even better is their homemade fish sticks, which is basically just their version of fish and chips. Nobody who doesn't live here would believe me when I say this, but Minneapolis has somehow become something of a mecca for amazing fish and chips, and these more than stack up to the best I've had here. They are smaller and more "stick like," but the fish itself is fresh and perfectly cooked, and the batter is very light so you can really taste how good the fish is. They come with a fantastic house-made tartar sauce, and the waiter even brought along a bottle of malt vinegar before I could even ask, which is always a sign that a place means business.

Oh, and everything comes with fries, and if I haven't mentioned that already, it's only because I was saving the best for last. Here's all I'll say: fresh, house-cut, and perfect.

And the place is just cool, with a huge mural on the wall that some people might find garish but I think it's awesome. The colors are all muted earth tones, the wall paper and art is kitschy without being annoying, and the bar is topped with hundreds of laminated baseball cards. There's a nice selection of tables and booths, and even some tables out front on the sidewalk if you're into that sort of thing. I usually go for a booth, but I've sat outside when I was with people who wanted to be outside, and while I prefer a patio to sidewalk seating, the sidewalk is wide enough that it wasn't a problem.

So... that's the Lowbrow. Just go check it out already, and if you come on a Wednesday around 4:00 and see a bearded guy in the corner reading a comic book, come say hi.

The Malt Shop

I've been going to The Malt Shop a lot lately, because my friend Jester is desperately trying to become their mayor on Foursquare. I think she gave up on that because she realized that becoming mayor of a restaurant is impossible unless you actually work there, since eating out that often will only end up making you fat and broke. Well, The Malt Shop will make you fat, anyway, but probably not broke, since it's a super good but super cheap diner in South Minneapolis that has great burgers, awesome fries, and, of course, malts. Even if Jester didn't want to be mayor, we'd go there anyway.

I'll admit, the place doesn't look like much... which is actually just a polite way of calling it a dump. It's not dirty or gross, just plain and boring and maybe a little garish in their choice of decorations. But it's also charming and nice and feels authentic. The website says it was established in 1973, and I bet they haven't changed or updated much in these past 39 years. In fact, I would've gotten the same impression if they website had said they were established in 1953, or even earlier. This was the kind of place I would've gone to with my parents when I was a kid, and that they would've gone to with their parents when they were a kid. Long story short: It's a diner, and a darn good one.

Fish and Chips

I've been there a bunch of times, and only once did I get something other than a burger. I always intend to not get a burger, since I want to try the whole menu, or close to it anyway, but the burgers are so good I almost always break down. And since they have a pretty decent collection of different burgers, I'm eager to try them all as well. The one time I didn't get a burger was when I got the fish and chips. They were pretty good, but far from the best in the Twin Cities. They came with a pretty good but not all together exceptional tartar sauce, and were served in small pieces of four instead of large pieces of two. Weird, but not a deal breaker. Anyway, they were good, but if you want fish and chips, go to Brit's Pub, the Anchor, or The Local.

If you want a burger, however, go to The Malt Shop.

Jester always gets the LS Burger, which is a bacon cheeseburger. I've had the Malt Shop Supreme, which is basically just the LS Burger with mushrooms and avocado, and it was amazing. I've also had the Black and Bleu burger (Cajun burger with bleu cheese) and the Megamelt (pattymelt), both of which were also amazing. Well, maybe amazing isn't the right word, since I wouldn't call any of these the absolute best burgers you'll ever have, or even the best burgers in South Minneapolis. But they are delicious, perfectly prepared, and pretty big. Oh, and the most expensive burger on the menu is still only $8.99, and they all come with a pile of some of the best french fries around. They're thick -- but not too thick -- and taste fresh and delicious. Also, I like my burger cooked medium rare, and The Malt Shop chefs actually cook them medium rare every time. This sounds like a small thing to rave about, but it's odd how rarely this happens (no pun intended).

Maltshop Supreme... I think

Black and Bleu Burger

Megamelt

They also have a few different local beers on tap for about five bucks. At least, I think they're on tap. They serve them in a glass anyway. I wish I had tried more of the menu so I could talk about it, but, honestly, the burgers are so good I don't feel like I'm missing much.Of course, they also have malts, but I've only had a sip of somebody's and thought it was pretty great. Everybody always seems to get one and then raves about them. I'm not a big malt guy, so I wish I had more to say about the drink for which this place was named. I texted Jester and asked her for a couple lines about the malts for this review, and this was here reply:

I don't know what to say. They're yummy and fun to dip the fries in.

So... there you go.

The service ranges from excellent to awful, depending on whose section you're in. I don't want to get too personal, but the entire wait staff is attentive, friendly, and helpful, except for this one guy who's actually a huge jerk. You'll know him if you get him, and if you don't get him, you'll have no complaints. Anyway, that's The Malt Shop. Check it out if you want a great, cheap meal in a fun, cool place... just don't check in on Foursquare! Let Jester be mayor already.

B Spot

This might be of interest only to my faithful readers who live in Cleveland, Ohio. I don't live in Cleveland, but my mother does, and when I visited her over this past weekend we went to B Spot, a new burger joint owned by celebrity chef Michael Symon. Symon is a Cleveland native, an Iron Chef, and now world famous chef and restaurateur. I've always liked the guy as a TV personality, and now I can say I like him as a creator of restaurants as well. Damn good burger, even if some things about his restaurant were a little less than perfect.

To begin with, it's one of those restaurants with lots of rules. Anybody who knows me should be well aware that I love rules and always do my best to abide by them, but I also never hesitate to complain about rules that make no sense and serve no purpose. Not allowing reservations is one of those restaurant rules that I find annoying, doubly so when the establishment is like the B Spot and offers nowhere to congregate comfortably while you spend your inevitable wait for your table. Also, they won't seat you until your entire party is there -- which is absolutely logical and reasonable and more than fine, except for when they went ahead and sat us before our fourth party member arrived, and then complained about how we were given a table even though our party wasn't complete.

This is Michael Symon, not me.

We attempted to order appetizers, but were told that the restaurant served no appetizers, just sides, and that all the stuff on the menu that looked like appetizers (like salads, chicken wings, etc) came along with the food. It is the policy of the restaurant that all menu items arrive at the same time. Huh? Who would want chicken wings, a salad, and a burger to arrive in front of them at once? That makes no sense. So we waited to order food until our fourth party member arrived, which clearly annoyed our server, even though it had taken him about ten or fifteen minutes before he even came over to say hello. It's not like we slowed them down, since the service was just slow in general.

However, once the food came, the awkward service and silly rules were forgotten because I proceeded to eat the best burger I've ever had in my life. No joke. I got the Lola, which came topped with bacon, onions, and a fried egg. It was divine. My mother got the Plain Jane, which is just as it sounds, but the couple bites I had showed off how amazing the actual burger was. The meat was fresh and perfectly cooked. Also, I ordered mine rare while she ordered hers medium rare, and mine came rare and hers came medium rare. This may seem like a silly thing to point out, but as a burger lover, I'm always disappointed by how rarely my burgers are actually cooked correctly to order. The guy's at B Spot are doing it right.

So while the ambiance is a little off, the service was a little wacky, and the rules were a little obtuse, B Spot delivered where it mattered: By serving just about the best burgers you'll ever eat. If I lived in Cleveland, I would be there all the time, but I'd get there early and go with my entire party in the same car.