In Memoriam: Blackbird Cafe

Blackbird Cafe, along with Patina, Heidi's and Shoppe Local were destroyed today in a fire. Read more about it here.

I actually work just a few blocks away from this location, and watched as firetruck after firetruck sped down the street. After I went out to investigate, I saw huge smoke clouds billowing in the distance. News helicopters flew overheard for most of the late afternoon. So far it sounds like there were no casualties or major injuries, but the loss of the local businesses is devastating. I hope everyone has insurance and comes back strong, especially Blackbird, which, as I mentioned in my review, is one of the best restaurants in the Twin Cities.

Restaurant Websites

I hate the websites of most restaurants. They're either too slow, too flashy, too ugly, or just plain uninformative. But even worse than a bad website, are those Luddite eateries that don't even have websites at all. So far as I can tell, there are only three reasons to ever look at a restaurant's website: To check out the menu, find the address or phone number, or to inquire about prices. Nobody goes to these website's to be entertained, though it's nice to have an attractive page to keep up a customer's interest.

Anyway, I'm going to offer a few of my simple rules that every restaurant owner should follow when having their websites designed:

1. Have a Menu, Dammit!
This is, seriously, the most egregious offense any website can make. It's amazing how often you'll come across this ridiculous commission, as though restaurateurs assume that food is the least important part of the dining experience. Reality check: It's the most important part! Often, the menu is left out because it's "coming soon" through a dead link or a button that has yet to be activated, but this is no excuse. If you don't have the menu working, the website isn't working. It's as simple as that.

And if you do have a menu, for pete's sake don't have it as a PDF file. That just annoys me and probably slows down (or crashes) many computers. PDF sucks. Oh, and have all of the prices listed. That's important too. I don't care how good the food sounds, if there are no prices, I'm going to assume you don't want me to see them so I'm not coming there to eat.

2. Keep it Simple, Dammit!
Please, no Flash.  If I have to sit through some long, annoying intro just because I'm trying to find a phone number so I can make a reservation, I'm going to be annoyed even before I set foot in your restaurant. Just have a page with clear, simple links that are easy to find and easy to navigate. And don't have some annoying animation that reloads everytime I accidentally hit the wrong link or backup to go to the front page.

And, please, for the love of all that's holy, no music, no sound effects, and no voices yelling at me. I just want to read a menu in peace.

3. Keep it Attractive, Dammit!
Having said that, it's still important that a website look good. And, no, you don't need Flash to look good, just a nice, clean style that doesn't have a garish color scheme or an awkward layout. You try to make your food look good, right? So make your website look good too. But don't have it crash my damn computer.

4. Keep it Updated, Dammit!
If I read your menu online, I don't want to be surprised when I arrive and see that the best looking item is gone. If you have changed your hours or your phone number, you'd better make sure that's corrected on your website. And if I come in for happy hour, the hours you have listed damn well better be accurate, or I'm gonna be pissed.

Some Example Websites:
Here are some examples of some websites I've seen that either impressed me or annoyed me. By no means is this any attempt at an exhaustive, comprehensive list, just some lists that I've read lately with my opinions listed.

Black Bird
This is just a really good, really well designed website. It's simple, it's clean, it's attractive, and everything is easy to find. I'm not nuts about the color scheme, but it's certainly not ugly and does reflect the look of the actual restaurant. Good job.

Cafe Barbette
Ugh!
By no means the worst website around, but boy is it ugly. the restaurant itself seems to pride itself on its odd, almost garish design, but it works a lot better as an interior design choice than it does as a website. Seriously, who thought that white on red was an ok way to display text? Oh, and PDF menu links. And when you look at the menus, it's just black text on a white background. Why couldn't that have been written as html on the website itself?

Lyndale Tap House
Way too much text on the front page -- who's really going to read all this stuff -- but a well designed website all the same. What I want to illustrate here is their menu, which is presented pretty much perfectly as a series of images instead of just boring text or as an annoying PDF file. This is how it should be done. It is a bit small, however, which is one of the problems with using images like this. Too small and the info is hard to read, too big and it'll slow down most computers.

Mt. Fuji
Where to start with this one? First of all, it's just ugly. Bad colors, awkward design, and a less than intuitive layout. I mean, look at that menu? They couldn't have formatted that a little better so it wasn't just a giant page full of text that takes forever to scroll through? Break it up into sections.

Also, and worst of all, this is the website that inspired by above rant about websites that have their happy hour times wrong. The website says happy hour on Saturday starts at 9:00pm, but Shannon and I discovered the hard way that it actually begins at 9:30pm. The server Brandon was apologetic and very accommodating when I politely complained, agreeing to charge us the happy hour price for our drinks as long as we were ok with waiting the extra twenty minuted before ordering food at the discounted prices. This was nice on his part, but hardly a perfect compromise considering the blame was entirely theirs. He also mentioned that at least one other party that evening had the same problem as us. And looking at their website, it has yet to be fixed.

Sushi Tango
This website is a marvel of graphic design, but it's also annoying to navigate, too loud, and annoys me. I hate Flash, but I will admit that this website has pretty good Flash, and the menu bar on the bottom keeps things from getting too hard to follow. But, still, I'd rather just not have all of this pizazz.

The Herkimer
One of my favorite restaurants also has one of my least favorite websites.

Let's just look at that front page for a second. What is the most prominent feature? A field to search for available tables and make a reservation. This is odd because Herkimer doesn't take reservations. You seat yourself. So why have this awkward, ugly field on the front of your website that serves no purpose and directs people to a different website? 

And their menus are PDFs.

So... how's my website?

Lyndale Tap House

The signature item at The Lyndale Tap House is their Pit Beef, which the menu describes as a "Baltimore tradition." Now, I went to college in Baltimore, lived there for about five years, and I've never heard of Pit Beef. I used to eat crabcakes by the ton, and I've cut my fingers more times than I can even remember tearing into some steamed crabs -- all while listening to the music of David Byrne, watching the movies of Barry Levinson and John Waters, and tuning in to every episode of Homicide -- but pit beef? News to me.

Which pisses me off because if the pit beef at Lyndale Tap is even half as "traditional" as they claim, I spent those fives years in Baltimore missing out like a sucker. I can't speak for what you'd find in the city of Baltimore, but the pit beef at Lyndale Tape in Uptown Minneapolis Minnesota is off the hook!

The Lyndale Tape House is located in the building that used to be J.P.'s Bistro, a restaurant that everybody claims was amazing, but I never got around to trying. Why would I go to a place that's right across the street from The Herkimer? I almost never even tried this place, because everytime I'd try, I'd just end up across the street. It actually took me a while to even realize it was a restaurant, because the upstairs houses some chiropractor that has a much bigger sign than this restaurant. They really need to get a bigger sign out from that makes it obvious it's a restaurant. But the sign on the side of the building says "Pit Beef" in big, neon letters, which is what convinced me to finally give it a try. I love beef, cooked in a pit or otherwise.

And, as I said above, the pit beef is awesome. It's... beef... that's cooked in a pit... I guess. It's kind of similar to brisket, though not quite as sweet or as tender, with a really powerful, smokey flavor. The Pit Beef sandwich I got was just the regular, which comes smothered with horseradish sauce and onions. I ordered it rare, which my girlfriend thought was gross and wouldn't eat it, but I thought it was perfect. The fries that accompanied the sandwich were fresh, hand-cut, and fantastic. Already on the table was a house-made hot sauce and malt vinnegar, both of which should already be on every table in the entire world -- even coffee tables.

I'm sure the other food is good too, but I wouldn't know since every time I've gone I've gotten the pit beef, and so has everybody else I'm with. It could be the only thing on the menu and I'd still give the place a rave review.

And since the name is Lyndale Tap House, they'd better have a pretty good selection of taps in the house. I'm happy to say they do, even though I've read many vexing reviews of the place that argue to the contrary. Looking over their menu, I count about 17 beers on tap, which is an especially impressive number considering how they are all very good selections. Also, all of their taps are half price during happy hour. How anybody could complain about a beer selection that offers Rocky's Revenge for three bucks or so is beyond me.

Also, I've always had the same waitress who is very charming and looks just like a young Marisa Tomei. I'm not saying that anybody should go to a restaurant just because one of the waitresses looks like Marisa Tomei, but I am saying that more restaurants should hire waitresses who look like Marisa Tomei. It just seems to make the food taste better.

The highest compliment I can pay Lyndale Tap House is that, even though it's directly across the street from my favorite restaurant, I have still managed to go there on more than one occasion. In fact, I even once meant to go to Herkimer, but actually ended up going to Lyndale Tap. What can I say? It brings me back to my days in Baltimore.

Il Gatto

This is not a review.

I didn't eat at Il Gatto because I couldn't find a table. This is going to be a review of my first impressions of the impressive looking establishment that replaced Figlio, one of my favorite places for Happy Hour in Uptown.

Figlio was great because their drink specials and discounted appetizers were cheap and fantastic. Their bar was big and roomy, with lots of tables to accommodate big parties and little nooks and crannies for couples who wanted something a little more intimate.

Il Gatto was the same drink and appetizer specials, but the bar is an entirely different story. Now it's simply one narrow, awkwardly crowded corridor with the bar on the right side and a line of far too few tables on the left. It can hold maybe a fifth of the amount of people that Figlio's bar could, and since it is now removed from any windows, it feels that much more claustrophobic and uncomfortable.

As I said, I couldn't find a table, but even more than that, lacking a table left me no choice but to leave. There is simply nowhere to stand. I can't imagine anybody would want to come here with more than, say, one other person. It's terrible. It's ridiculous. It's even a little heartbreaking. Maybe I'll try it again just so I can see if the food and drinks are good, but if my next visit goes like my one last night, I'll just end up at the Independent again.

Little Tijuana

"NO SUBSTITUTIONS!!"

That's all you really need to know about Little Tijuana, which isn't quite the worst Mexican restaurant in Minneapolis, just the most overhyped and obnoxious. "No substitutions" seems to be their motto, since it was written on the table, hanging from the wall, and written all over their menus. It was almost as though they were somehow taking pride in the fact that they refuse to compromise on giving paying customers exactly what they want.

Now, don't get me wrong... I've worked for years at Starbucks for years so I know just how annoying and overly complicated customer orders can get if you give them too much free range. But... no substitutions? At a Mexican restaurant? That means if you love tacos but don't want lettuce, too bad. If you want a burrito with no onions, find another restaurant. If you want the hot sauce on the side, go to hell!

But even worse than that is how every combo selection only comes with one choice of meet for every dish. That is to say, they have combo plates that come with (for example) a taco, an enchilada, and a tostada... which you can only order as all chicken, beef, pork, etc. But I want a chicken taco and a pork enchilada. Sorry, no substitutions!! I'm sorry, but that's not a substitution, that's a standard order of business at any Mexican restaurant. Nobody every wants the same kind of meat for every dish in a combo platter. That's unheard of. That's ridiculous. That's... just... dumb, terrible, offensive customer service.

And, no, it isn't because of any issues with prices. All of the meat choices were the same price. Little Tijuana is just run by assholes. If you can think of any other explanation, I'd love to hear it.

Or, at least, maybe just our waiter was an asshole who took the whole "no substitutions" thing too far and applied it to the combos even though that isn't an actual rule. But I doubt it, since he seemed pretty adamant and annoyed at the mere fact that we'd even ask. And in every other way, the service was pretty terrible too.

So how was the food? It wasn't bad. It was even good, though it wasn't good enough that it was worth the hassle of dealing with the terrible service or the restaurant's lack of consideration for their diners' opinions or needs. Oh, and they don't have a liquor license, so there's no booze. That's another deal breaker right there.

Bottom line, there's no reason to go to this place when Pancho Villa's is right around the corner. In fact, there'd be no reason to go to this place even if it was the only Mexican restaurant in town. I recommend that this restaurant substitutes their ridiculous policy and terrible service for some that won't piss off their potential customers, or I'll continue to substitute this restaurant for any other one.

The Herkimer

The Herkimer is probably my favorite restaurant in the Twin Cities.

I've actually been a fan of Herkimer since before I even moved to Minnesota. It was down the street from where my sister Tanya lived, so we'd go there whenever I'd fly in to visit. Herkimer was also the place where my girlfriend Shannon and I spent many of our first dates together. So I have fond memories and a warm spot in my heart for the place. But I'm not a sentimental man, and good memories and nostalgic feelings will only get a restaurant so far. No... I go to Herkimer because the beer is great and the food is fantastic.

I'm a simple man. I like burgers, fries, and beer, all of which Herkimer does as well -- if not better -- than any other place in town. And since we're talking about the Midwest -- which has to be one of the major meat and potato capitals of the world, that places it pretty high up among the best I've ever had anywhere. Their burgers are big, juicy, and varied, including a Cajun burger, mushroom and swiss, and a bunch more. I usually get the "Deluxe Mac," which is basically just a Big Mac but with an actually good patty of meat covered with their own version of special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, etc. It's incredible. I also usually order my burger rare, because for whatever reason that's the only way to get them served medium rare. So if you are as particular as I am, keep that little nitpick in mind.

And if burgers aren't your thing, the menu is a lot more extensive than you'd expect to find at most bars. The fish and chips are also fantastic, as are the "tres tacos," which come with a chicken, beef, and pork tacos. I also recommend the pulled pork sandwich. Their pork isn't quite as flavorful as you'd get in a straight up BBQ joint, but for Minnesotan pulled pork, it ain't bad. I don't know what to recommend if you're a vegetarian. I'm sure they have options, I just have never taken the time to care about any of them. I'm always too busy deciding what kind of burger I want to shove in my face.

Their sweet potato fries have garnered numerous awards and achieved much acclaim here in the Twin Cities... and rightly so, though I prefer normal french fries. The sweet potato fries are fantastic to be sure -- and they come with some kind of special, tangy ketchup that is awesome -- but they are a little too sweet to perfectly compliment a burger, in my humble opinion. Luckily for me, their fries are also fantastic. They are thin cut, no frills, french fries with plenty of flavor and just the right amount of crunch. And they are also cheaper, since they come with most of the entrees while the sweet variety are a couple bucks extra.

And be sure to wash down your meal with one of the fantastic German style lagers brewed on site. The Herkimer isn't just a bar, but a brewpub, where all of their beers are brewed just a few yards from where their food is cooked. One wall is actually a giant window looking in on some giant vats that... do something to brew or store beer, I suppose. I honestly know nothing about the production of beer, other than that the vats at Herkimer look impression and the flavors of their beers are wonderful. They have a rotating selection on tap, but they always have a wide enough selection that you'll be able to find something that suits your tastes. And come between 3 and 6 or 10 and close for 2 for 1s and discounted appetizers.

So... the Herkimer. I apologize if this is one of my more boring reviews, but there isn't much to say about this place beyond "this is good, this is also good, and this is good too..." It's my favorite restaurant and I've yet to meet any other person in Minneapolis who hasn't shared my passion for their great food and excellent beers. The highest praise I can say about this place is that just thinking about their name alone is enough to make me hungry.

Blackbird Cafe

Before I formally start my review of Blackbird Cafe, I have a quick piece of advice for any restaurateurs who may have stumbled upon this website: Always offer reservations in your restaurants.

It's just a courtesy to the customer and it will increase your business because people will feel comfortable going to your restaurant because they'll know they'll actually be seated sometime within the hour. And if you absolutely refuse to take reservations (I'm sure you have your reasons beyond simple contempt for your potential customer base, though I'll never begin to understand what those reasons may be), at least have a waiting area that is comfortable and spacious, and not just a two-foot by two-foot area right in front of the door.

But if you are willing to take the risk on going to Blackbird not knowing if you'll be immediately seated or forced to wait near the door in an area more cramped than a phonebooth while you awkwardly stare at the other diners, silently yelling at them in your head to finish their damn meals already and free up that table, you'll discover a restaurant that is absolutely wonderful in every other way. It's worth taking the risk.

Blackbird is exactly the kind of restaurant most people envision when they think about local, independently-owned restaurants: It's cute, cozy, has a friendly, enthusiastic waitstaff, and an ever-changing menu of interesting, delicious entrees. I've been there a few times and have gotten the same thing every time: The Longhorn, an incredible beef brisket sandwich smothered with caramelized onions, tomatoes, and some kind of horseradish sauce. It's awesome. I've also noshed on the other entrees my girlfriend Shannon ordered, all of which were fantastic as well. The Walleye Po' Boy is another standout, though it's really more of a fish sandwich than a classic "Po' Boy" in the traditional sense, but it's still quite good.

The sandwiches are all reasonably priced, with most of them staying under ten bucks. There are also a lot of entrees that sound fantastic -- including nightly specials -- but they are a lot more pricey, though probably worth it if you're willing to splurge. It's not that I've never been willing to splurge, but that I feel no need to when the Longhorn is so fantastic and so cheap. Also, the sandwiches all come with freshly cut french fries that are some of the best I've had in the Cities.

So, I like Blackbird. In fact, I like Blackbird a lot. It's a fantastic, fun restaurant with great, friendly service and fantastic food. But come on... take reservations already. You can call ahead to put your name on a waiting list, but there's still no guarantee you won't have to wait in that tiny area like a schmuck.

5 out of 5

Common Roots Cafe

This is a first in Blog on a Stick's (admittedly short) history: I'm actually writing a restaurant review while sitting in that restaurant. Now, I'm not reviewing Common Roots while at Common Roots because I had such an amazing first impression that I had to whip out my laptop and write about it. I'm writing about Common Roots because, to be honest, I'm always at Common Roots, and I've written many reviews during their exceptional happy hour. Long story short, I'm a Common Roots fan. Though it wasn't always that way.

CR is located on the corner of 26th and Lyndale, in a rather nondescript, almost boring looking brick building that used to house the mediocre restaurant Soba Cafe. I was neither sad nor surprised when Soba closed its doors, because the few times I went there I was incredibly underwhelmed, though I wasn't any more enthusiastic about CR when it opened up as its replacement. They had definitely cleaned up the building and thrown in a few more windows to brighten it up, but the location was still a little too sterile. And the food just didn't interest me. In fact, I only continued to go there because it is quite literally right across the street from my girlfriend's apartment.

When it first opened, you wouldn't be too far off to describe it as Spyhouse with more food. I don't mean that it looked like Spyhouse or event that it offered similar fair, but that Spyhouse exemplifies for me the typical so-trendy-it-hurts Uptown coffee shop. Luckily, evolved past that and actually began to understand that a truely trendy restaurant isn't one that offers organic food served by root people, but one that serves truly fantastic food served by a competent, friendly staff.

Somewhere over the two or so years since they opened their doors, CR just... clicked. They at first prided themselves on having fresh, organic food supplied exclusively from local farms, which is fantastic and noble, but is hardly enough in and of itself. At first, the flavor of the food simply wasn't up to the standard set by their ethics, but I'm happy to say that things have changed and CR can now be confident that their food is every bit as flavorful as it is... ethical, whatever that means.

I suppose I should digress here for a minute and admit that I don't care about supporting local businesses, have no idea what "sustainable" means in regards to farming, and have never been able to tell the difference between organic and nonorganic food, other than that organic is way more expensive so I don't buy it. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to support a local business that deserves it, but I'm not going to do so out of any kind of ethical reasons. I'd love to buy all of my DVDs at Cheapo, but since they charge about twice what Target does, the evil corporation is going to get my money, and I don't feel guilty about that. If that is your thing, Common Roots is the place for you. But if that isn't your thing, Common Roots is still the place for you because their food is so damn good.

Is their burger one of the best I've ever had (no exaggeration) because the cow was grass fed and organically raised, or just because their chef knows how to cook a great burger? I'm sure it was a little of both, but let's not count out the second explanation out of hand. The food at CR is just exquisitely prepared, and their monthly-rotating recipes are all unique and exciting and delicious. But even though the menu regularly changes, they were smart enough to keep the burger as a permanent staple. Though, if I have any complaint about the menu at all, it's that when something really strikes your fancy (and almost everything does), it's really sad when it disappears from the menu at the end of the month.

And best of all is the happy hour, which doesn't just offer Surly taps (and a few other select beers) for $3 and house wines for $4, but all of the appetizers are just $5. And, to be honest, the appetizers are often far more exciting and fulfilling than some of the entrees. The entrees are all great, but are often just variations on similar themes (they'll have pasta, some kind of salad, a fish, etc), but the appetizers are often wholly unique and innovative. But even when they just do something as simple as pizza, they give it their own spin and deliver pizza that is as good as any you've ever had.

Oh, and their freshly made desserts are amazing.

The service at CR is another thing that slowly evolved along with the flavor of the food. Maybe it's because I spent so long as an Assistant Manager at Starbucks, but friendly ("legendary") service is important to me. Something as simple as an "I'll be right with you" -- or even a smile! -- can go a long way toward making a customer feel welcome. Say what you want about the difference between local coffee shops and corporately owned ones, if I want enthusiastic, friendly service I'll go to Starbucks. If I want to talk to a brick wall that only shows emotion when they are actively being rude to be, I'll go to Spyhouse. I don't want to say that the service at CR was rude, but that it was decidedly indifferent. As the restaurant found its niche, they dropped some duds from the staff and brought in a bunch of people who are really quite charming and able at customer service. I still sometimes feel as though I have to initiate conversations with them -- and after a good year of coming here at least once a week, I'm only just being recognized as any kind of a "regular" -- that's still probably my Starbucks training creeping in. They are quite nice and good at their jobs.

And they are all cute as a button too -- male and female -- if you're into that sort of thing. I'm not saying you should go there because the girls are pretty or because at least one of the guys looks like the actor Carey Elwes, but it's certainly better than going to a place where everybody is ugly.

Do I have any complaints abour CR? Well, yeah, a couple. To begin with, the $3 taps you get during happy hour are actually $3.30. I'm not sure if they have tax on beer because it's technically a coffee shop/restaurant and not a bar, but it's a little disappointing. It's not a deal-breaker by any means (since I literally come here an average of three or four times a week), but I'd be remiss in my duties if I didn't mention it. If you actually want a $3 beer that is $3, you'll have to go to Figlio or The Independent. If they really want to compete with other (technically cheaper) Happy Hours in Uptown, they should think about factoring the tax into the overall price. They also might want to extend their happy hour to 7pm instead of 6pm to compete with the Bulldog's, which is right across the street. I much prefer Common Roots, but if I want a beer and it's 6:01 at night, I admit that I go across the street.

Also, the service can be a little wacky at times. Again, this might be because of my Starbucks training, but I think they need better deployment at the register and bar. Occasionally the employees seem lost, not because they are rude or indifferent to the customers, but because they maybe don't know exactly where they should be or what they should be doing at any given time. You'll often be rung up by a person who will then slide to the espresso bar (for example) to make your drink, while the person who just made a drink will wonder around before going over to the register to ring up the next person in line. Often, there will even only be one person doing everything even as the line forms, while a few other people will be stocking or wiping down tables. An obvious way to fix this would be to deploy people to set positions. That is to say, one person should stay on register while another person is assigned to just making drinks. Not only would this speed up service, but I imagine it would minimize cash-handling mistakes because only one person would be assigned to use the register at any given period of time during the shift.

And, again, this is my Starbucks training talking, which is a corporation that, frankly, has customer service and employee deployment down to a science. For me to expect that every other coffee shop in America should master that same science is silly. But still, their system of service could be a little more refined, if not the actual service itself, which is -- as I said -- likable and warm and charming. There are certainly employees here that I like more than others, but none that I dread having serve me should I see them behind the counter when I come in.

The decor that once seemed sterile has also evolved into something that seems more spartan and clean. The patio is one of the best in uptown, since it's on the side of the building and not right on the street, though you do have a good view of Lyndale for people watching (and dog watching, since the patio overlooks the animal hospital, where a pair of dogs often wander out onto the balcony). The restaurant is large and has amble seating, though I think of the back section as the ghetto because it's somewhat dark and dank. Well, I suppose it's not really fair to call it dark and dank, but it's certainly darker and less comfortable than the section of tables near be wall of windows that lines the front of the building. If I can't find a table at the front, I'll sit on the patio. If I can't sit on the patio, I sulk in the back.

Long story short (too late for that), Common Roots is an exceptional restaurant, coffee shop, and purveyor of fine alcoholic beverages. Come here almost any day of the week for a great local brew, an amazing burger, a delicious cookie, or just to say hello to me. I'm the guy in the corner writing a restaurant review or reading a comic book.

5 out of 5

Minnesota State Fair

The giant turkey leg is the perfect analogy for my annual State Fair experience. I always buy a turkey leg because I think I'm going to love it, and that first bite is so delicious. But after three or four bites, I realize it's just a giant, fatty piece of gristle. I've got crap on my face, grease running down my arm, and the realization that I still have to walk around with a giant wad of meat on a bone that would embarrass Fred Flintstone. Basically, what I'm saying is that the State Fair kind of sucks.

Of course, nobody is going to agree with me, because for whatever reason the two weeks or so during the fair are sacred. Maybe it's because I'm not from MN and thus wasn't born into the tradition that I'm able to look into it with an objective eye as the overblow, overrated flea market that it is. But, then again, maybe not. After all, when I was a kid we New Englanders had something called "The Big E" that was basically just the MN State Fair but for all of New England, and I remember growing tired of it as soon as I was able to walk. But take my opinion with a grain of salt because I've never liked rides, I've never liked crowds, and I hate being overcharged for mediocre food.

But if you love rides, crowds, and paying way too much for mediocre food, the State Fair must be a god send. To be sure, some of the food is good. I love funnel cake and the stuff at the fair is always delicious. But other than that... meh. People rave about the food and talk about how much they eat, but I don't get it. This year, I didn't get the turkey leg because, while waiting in line, I realize it was $7.50 (!!) I could spend on something I might actually enjoy. So I actually ended up spending 50 cents more than that on a buffalo steak kabob that, while good, was still nowhere near as moist or flavorful as something I could cook at home. And then there are things like Sweet Martha's cookies that are very good, but still not as good as the cookies my girlfriend makes. And if she's not around, I could go across the street to Common Roots or down the block to Bob's Java Hut and get cookies the other 50 weeks out of the year that put Sweet Martha's to shame. Granted, I won't get a bucket of cookies, but I also won't have to pay 15 bucks either.

And while I hate to harp on the money, it never ceases to amaze me how overpriced everything is. Six dollars for a cup of Premium? A six pack at a liquor store costs about five dollars. Seven fifty for a turkey leg? Four bucks for a corn dog? And add on to all of that the exorbitant cost to get in, which is insulting because you're basically paying admission for the opportunity to pay more money.

But, at the end of the day, it is a fun way to spend an afternoon, but only if you're with cool people with good attitudes. But, then again, cool people with good attitudes are fun to spend time with anywhere.

Still... I kind of regret not getting that turkey leg. So what does that say about me?