Thursday, November 12, 2009

Little Tijuana

"NO SUBSTITUTIONS!!"

That's all you really need to know about Little Tijuana, which isn't quite the worst Mexican restaurant in Minneapolis, just the most overhyped and obnoxious. "No substitutions" seems to be their motto, since it was written on the table, hanging from the wall, and written all over their menus. It was almost as though they were somehow taking pride in the fact that they refuse to compromise on giving paying customers exactly what they want.

Now, don't get me wrong... I've worked for years at Starbucks for years so I know just how annoying and overly complicated customer orders can get if you give them too much free range. But... no substitutions? At a Mexican restaurant? That means if you love tacos but don't want lettuce, too bad. If you want a burrito with no onions, find another restaurant. If you want the hot sauce on the side, go to hell!

But even worse than that is how every combo selection only comes with one choice of meet for every dish. That is to say, they have combo plates that come with (for example) a taco, an enchilada, and a tostada... which you can only order as all chicken, beef, pork, etc. But I want a chicken taco and a pork enchilada. Sorry, no substitutions!! I'm sorry, but that's not a substitution, that's a standard order of business at any Mexican restaurant. Nobody every wants the same kind of meat for every dish in a combo platter. That's unheard of. That's ridiculous. That's... just... dumb, terrible, offensive customer service.

And, no, it isn't because of any issues with prices. All of the meat choices were the same price. Little Tijuana is just run by assholes. If you can think of any other explanation, I'd love to hear it.

Or, at least, maybe just our waiter was an asshole who took the whole "no substitutions" thing too far and applied it to the combos even though that isn't an actual rule. But I doubt it, since he seemed pretty adamant and annoyed at the mere fact that we'd even ask. And in every other way, the service was pretty terrible too.

So how was the food? It wasn't bad. It was even good, though it wasn't good enough that it was worth the hassle of dealing with the terrible service or the restaurant's lack of consideration for their diners' opinions or needs. Oh, and they don't have a liquor license, so there's no booze. That's another deal breaker right there.

Bottom line, there's no reason to go to this place when Pancho Villa's is right around the corner. In fact, there'd be no reason to go to this place even if it was the only Mexican restaurant in town. I recommend that this restaurant substitutes their ridiculous policy and terrible service for some that won't piss off their potential customers, or I'll continue to substitute this restaurant for any other one.