I got Dogged

Last night my sister and I went to the Uptown Bulldog, and since I have a blog, I'm going to complain about the lousy service because I'm still mad about it.

We arrived at 6:30pm, which was a little late to enjoy the happy hour since it ends at 7:00, but hey... a half hour is better than nothing. I figured I could get in at least a couple beers at the discount before the regular pricing kicked in. That was the plan, anyway, which was made mostly impossible due to the slow, lackluster service.

At first, out waitress was a fine if not all together wonderful server. She was polite and arrived only a few minutes after we sat down, answering whatever questions we had and then went off to get our drinks. She came back with the drinks after a few more minutes and then took our dinner order. And then we never saw her again until around 7:00pm. I was hoping to get a last call or at least flag her down so I could get my empty beer replaced before happy hour ended, but that didn't happen. When she finally came over, I asked her very politely if I could still get a beer at the happy hour price.

"Happy hour was over a while ago," she said, which was odd, because that was an extreme exaggeration. I said I knew that, but was hoping I could still get one at the happy hour price since we never got a last call.

"I don't do last call," she said coldly. "We don't do that here."

I just stared at her, actually shocked not only by what she was saying, but that I could tell that my simple question would generate that kind of attitude. How about something like, "I'm sorry, but I'm not able to do that"? That would have been a satisfactory answer. But to act as though I was a jerk simply for asking pissed me off.

"I have 7:01," I said, showing her my watch, which meant that when she actually came over to our table, it was no more than a minute after happy hour, but possibly not even that long.

She just looked at me and then said something along the lines of, "Look, if you really need it, I''ll give you a dollar if you order another beer, ok?!"

I said I'd take it, and she walked away in a huff. It was just... strange, and while I'll admit that my request was kind of bold (even though I was right, and I actually went out of my way to be polite and not rag on her for being a poor server), her response was ridiculous, and made all the worse by the fact that she made an effort to ignore me for the rest of the night, only looking at and talking to my sister when she'd come back over. At one point we were both done with our meals, with our empty baskets pushed away from us toward the center of the table, and then she came over and took only my sister's tray, asked her how it was, and then left without looking at me or taking my tray as well.

And then when the bill came, there was no dollar included nor any kind of discount. She did come over as we were looking at the bill and said, in the same cold tone she had used on my all evnenign, "I know I said I'd give you a dollar, and you can have it if you want. I don't want to be some kind of jerk."

Too late, I thought, but what I said aloud was to keep her dollar. So... that's the Bulldog. Good burgers, lots of beers on tap, awful service. I don't think I need to go back there.

B Spot

This might be of interest only to my faithful readers who live in Cleveland, Ohio. I don't live in Cleveland, but my mother does, and when I visited her over this past weekend we went to B Spot, a new burger joint owned by celebrity chef Michael Symon. Symon is a Cleveland native, an Iron Chef, and now world famous chef and restaurateur. I've always liked the guy as a TV personality, and now I can say I like him as a creator of restaurants as well. Damn good burger, even if some things about his restaurant were a little less than perfect.

To begin with, it's one of those restaurants with lots of rules. Anybody who knows me should be well aware that I love rules and always do my best to abide by them, but I also never hesitate to complain about rules that make no sense and serve no purpose. Not allowing reservations is one of those restaurant rules that I find annoying, doubly so when the establishment is like the B Spot and offers nowhere to congregate comfortably while you spend your inevitable wait for your table. Also, they won't seat you until your entire party is there -- which is absolutely logical and reasonable and more than fine, except for when they went ahead and sat us before our fourth party member arrived, and then complained about how we were given a table even though our party wasn't complete.

This is Michael Symon, not me.

We attempted to order appetizers, but were told that the restaurant served no appetizers, just sides, and that all the stuff on the menu that looked like appetizers (like salads, chicken wings, etc) came along with the food. It is the policy of the restaurant that all menu items arrive at the same time. Huh? Who would want chicken wings, a salad, and a burger to arrive in front of them at once? That makes no sense. So we waited to order food until our fourth party member arrived, which clearly annoyed our server, even though it had taken him about ten or fifteen minutes before he even came over to say hello. It's not like we slowed them down, since the service was just slow in general.

However, once the food came, the awkward service and silly rules were forgotten because I proceeded to eat the best burger I've ever had in my life. No joke. I got the Lola, which came topped with bacon, onions, and a fried egg. It was divine. My mother got the Plain Jane, which is just as it sounds, but the couple bites I had showed off how amazing the actual burger was. The meat was fresh and perfectly cooked. Also, I ordered mine rare while she ordered hers medium rare, and mine came rare and hers came medium rare. This may seem like a silly thing to point out, but as a burger lover, I'm always disappointed by how rarely my burgers are actually cooked correctly to order. The guy's at B Spot are doing it right.

So while the ambiance is a little off, the service was a little wacky, and the rules were a little obtuse, B Spot delivered where it mattered: By serving just about the best burgers you'll ever eat. If I lived in Cleveland, I would be there all the time, but I'd get there early and go with my entire party in the same car.