Sarpino's

(Guest review by my buddy Jester:)

I was all set to sit on my couch eat chicken tenders from Dulono's and watch Once Upon Time, but when I called to order my food, the woman on the phone told me they were out of chicken tenders. Disappointed, I went to the internet to try to find another place that would bring pieces of chicken to me. I found Sarpino's. I've never ordered from them before, but I was hungry and I wanted some dang chicken tenders!

I ordered my food a little after 4pm and was told that delivery would take 50-60 minutes. When I still hadn't received my food by 5:30, I called to check on it. The man on the other end said that my food still hadn't left the store, but that I could expect it in about 15 minutes. He also said he would take 25% off for the trouble.

At 6:20 I called again to cancel my order. As soon as I did there was a knock on my door. I got my food for free. Two hours later I sat down with my chicken tenders.

They were cold, but pretty good. The BBQ sauce was a little too sweet, but alright. Things were starting to look ok; I finally got my chicken and I didn't pay... and then it happened. I took a bite of my third chicken tender and I hit bone!

So would I tell you to order from Sarpinos? No. I guess I should've just taken it as a sign that I wasn't supposed to eat chicken tenders tonight when Dulono's told me they had none. Lesson learned.

Galactic Pizza

I'm going to go ahead and call Galactic Pizza the best pizza place in Minneapolis.

Of course, I haven't tried every pizza place in  Minneapolis, with the most notable lapse in my culinary journey being the critical darling Blacksheep, but I feel confident that Galactic has them all beat not only with their flavor, but with their sense of integrity as well. Galactic uses only locally produced and sourced ingredients, their restaurant is powered completely on "renewable wind energy," and... well... let me just cut and paste from their website, because everything they do is worth mentioning and worth letting them explain in their own words:

Here are a few of the values led activities we are currently engaging in:

• When conditions allow, our food is delivered to your door using 100% electric vehicles.
• All of the power purchased to run our restaurant is renewable wind energy.
• All of our mozzarella cheeses come from cows not treated with rBGH.
• We have incorporated a number of organic items into the menu.
• We have the Second Harvest Heartland pizza, where $1 is donated to this hunger relief organization every time the pizza is ordered.
• We strive to use packaging that is either made from recycled materials, or is 100% biodegradable.
• We incorporate hemp products into each menu category, and print our menu on hemp paper. Hemp is not only good for you, it is also very good for the Earth.
• In season, we try to purchase all of our produce from farms here in Minnesota or in nearby Wisconsin.
• We have an in depth waste reduction program utilizing composting for food waste and recycling whenever possible.
• 5% of our pre-tax profits are donated to charity.

 Very cool.

Of course, all of that wouldn't mean a damn if their food didn't taste good, and luckily their food tastes phenomenal. As I said in my opening: The best pizza in the city. I would even have gone so far as to say the best pizza in the Twin Cities, but that kind of goes without saying. Saint Paul does many great things and has more than its share of wonderful restaurants, but what do they know about pizza? If you want great pizza, don't bother crossing the Mississippi, unless you plan on continuing on all the way to New York City. And, yes, I'm aware that Chicago is en route.

But we were talking about Galactic Pizza. I'll admit that I've been somewhat remiss in my Galactic Pizza eating. I've lived in Uptown for the past five or six years, and I've only had their pizza maybe three times. The first time was probably four years ago, and the next two times have both been within the past month. Of course, I knew about them and had seen their delivery drivers around, all of whom are impossible to miss because they zip around in tiny electric cars and dress like super heroes. For whatever reason, I've always been a Luce man. Or Mesa. Or Parkway. But the other day my friend Ben suggested Galactic because he's a fan, and because somebody gave him a gift card. And now I'm a fan too.

We got a pitcher of beer, but I don't remember which one, but probably something local and delicious. I think it was $15 bucks or so, but we got there after happy hour had ended so that's not too bad for what amounted to maybe four beers or so. For an appetizer we got the Hand Rolled Italian Egg Rolls, which was their twist on an egg roll, except with an Italian flair... and, um, hand rolled. They were basically a gourmet version of a pizza flavored hot pocket. That description is accurate, but it doesn't even begin to do them justice. They were great. The main course was the Pizza Alla Vodka, which had a creamy vodka sauce, mushrooms, prosciutto, and basil. Except they were out of basil, so the waitress suggested we substitute spinach, which we did and it was phenomenal. As I said, the best pizza in Minneapolis. If you ever go, I recommend this one, since the sauce was incredible.

The second time I went, just last week, my friend and I got a large pizza sausage, but half olives and half mushrooms. The mushrooms are my half, the olives are hers. Maybe I've described this pizza before, because that's what my friend Jester and I get every time we get pizza. She's very picky, but I guess so am I cause I don't like olives. Anyway, this pizza was phenomenal. As I said, the best pizza in Minneapolis. This was vastly different from the other one I got, but somehow both are the best pizza in Minneapolis.

Both times my friends and I finished the entire large pizzas, and yet I didn't feel as grossly full as I normally do after gorging myself on too much pizza. I didn't feel great, of course, but I didn't feel sick to my stomach and full of the shame and regret that usually accompanies that kind of meal. So that's another win for Galactic.

And then there's the atmosphere, which is just cool. It's a small place, but it's got a disco ball and decorated in some kind of 70s vibe, but not obnoxiously so. The first time I went with Ben, all of the servers were dressed like basketball players from the 70s, but the second time they were just dressed like normal Uptown hipsters. I preferred the second time around, but the first time was fun too. Also, their menu is decorated in 3D, and they give you 3D glasses alongside. That's just fun.

Anyway, that's Galactic Pizza, doing their part to make the world a better place through sound business practices and great pizza. In fact, it's the best in Minneapolis. Check 'em out.

Dulono's Pizza

Dulono's Pizza
(612) 827-1726

607 W. Lake St.
Uptown, Minneapolis
55408

The other day my friend Jester told me that Dulono's was her favorite pizza in the Twin Cities. We weren't in a confessional or anything, and it only came up because she mentioned she was going to have left-over pizza for dinner that evening. I asked her were the pizza was from, and then history was made. Or something. Anyway, all of this is my roundabout way of saying a new pizza place was recommended to me by a source I trust, which was very exciting for me because I love pizza and thought I'd already tried it all, or, at least, all that mattered.

Dulano's has no website, so I wasn't able to study a menu before I ordered. This was slightly frustrating because I didn't know all that they had to offer, nor did I know how much anything was going to cost. On the other hand, not having a website does make a pizza parlor feel that much more authentic, as though maybe it's run by an old Italian couple who don't even own a computer.  But, whatever, I was ordering pizza, so it's not like I needed the Rosetta Stone in order to decipher the riddle of Dulono's cuisine. I found the number on some website (maybe Yelp or Urbanspoon, or some other such place. Hey, maybe somebody just found their phone number here!) where they have those pointless reviews that are all written either by somebody who loves it and says it's the best place in the Twin Cities or by somebody who hates it and says their food is pure, unadulterated crap. I just ignored the reviews, found the number, and ordered my standard pie: sausage, mushroom, and onion. That's about as perfect as pizza gets, in my opinion, and usually good enough to be edible even if the pizza is mediocre, but refined enough to be close to a religious experience when knocked out of the park.

Dulono's wasn't quite a religious experience, but they definitely knocked it out of the park. I can't concur with Jester that this is the best pizza in the Twin Cities, but even after one time I'd definitely put it in my top ten and absolutely everybody to give it a try. Dulonos is damn good pizza.

I got delivery, and judging by the time log on my phone, I called at 6:22pm and it arrived at 6:59pm. I know the time it arrived because the delivery guy called me as he pulled up out front of my apartment. I'm not sure why he called since I have a buzzer that's clearly labeled in the front of my apartment building, but maybe it's just a policy they have to avoid any confusion. Either way, it seemed like a courtesy to me, so I give them props for that. So... 37 minutes for delivery isn't fantastic, but since it was Friday night, it's not bad either. I'd say their speed is about average, but I'm willing to say that anything under an hour on a Friday night in Uptown is on the good side of average. The delivery guy himself was very pleasant and nice, but it's not like I stood an chatted with him very long.

The pizza cost... I don't know, to be perfectly honest. They told me over the phone, but I immediately forgot right after I hung up. The delivery guy said it would be "nineteen dollars and some change," so I just gave him the 23 bucks I had in my pocket. He said thank you, wished me a good night, then left. That was the full extent of our relationship, but I wish him well in all his future endeavors.

The pizza looked like typical Minnesota thin crust pizza, with the pie cut in a grid instead of in slices. Having grown up on the East Coast, this was one of the most difficult things to which I had to acclimate myself when I moved to the Midwest about 8 years ago, but I've since learned to appreciate this style. Every slice starts to feel a little different, since some have crust, some are from the middle, and some are those itty bitty corner pieces that everybody fights over because they're so cute. To be overly critical, Dulono's pizza cutter was maybe in a rush that night, since my grid was really off center, so half of the slices were bigger than the other half, and they were all a bit crooked since the lines were slightly askew. But, again, this isn't a huge deal since it also makes the place feel more authentic.

But who cares about their lack of a website, the personality of the deliver driver, and the style they used to slice the pizza? How does it taste already?!

Well... it tasted great. I'm not the world's biggest fan of thin crust pizza, but this was quite good, and still soft enough that it didn't feel or taste like that cardboard-style lots of places have out here. The sausage was tasty and the veggies seemed fresh. The cheese was cheesy and not overly greasy. But the best part was the sauce, which was sweet and tangy and definitely one of the best sauces I've ever had. One of the reviews I read recommended some pizza that comes with extra sauce, and I definitely would consider that next time... if I ever learn the name of it because I still haven't seen a menu. Anyway... great pizza.

If it's not my pick for the best pizza in town, that's only because Luce and Parkway are just so damn great. But this is very close and well worth 19 dollars and some change. Just go give it a try. Jester wouldn't steer you wrong.

Red's Savoy Pizza Uptown

Galooney's had been an Uptown tradition for over 15 years. Granted, I've only lived in Minnesota for about 6 years or so, but Galooney's quickly became my favorite sub shop. Needless to say, I was sorry to see its doors close earlier this year. The end of Galooney's is a long, sad story that I don't want to dwell on too much because the wounds are still so fresh. After the doors closed and the lights went out, a sign quickly went up saying that Galooney's was under new management and would reopen up some time in the future with the ridiculously long name of The Original Red's Savoy Pizza Uptown.

I had maybe heard of Red's Savoy Pizza as a place that was well liked by the pizza across the river in St. Paul, but I had never been there myself and didn't know what to expect. After doing some research (I, um, Googled "Galooney's closing") I found a blog set up by the new owners to keep people up to date on the progress of the new location, but they unfortunately post to their blog even more rarely than I post to mine, and almost all of them (until the last one) say something along the lines of, "we're not open yet, and don't know when we will be..." In fact, in the past two paragraphs I've probably posted more substantive information about the restaurant they they did on their entire blog.

But all of that is irrelevant because it finally opened up last week... and it's really good!

Red's is very similar to Galooneys, and yet also very different, as though they made a very strong effort to please fans of both establishments. It's sort of like if they were remodeling Galooney's during a severe ion storm, throwing the restaurant into Star Trek's Mirror Mirror Universe. They layout was much cleaner and sleek than Galooney's was, but that was probably as much because it's new than an actual design decision. There's now a big wall blocking the kitchen, whereas it was all open at Galooney's. There are still tables out in front along the sidewalk, but the backroom seems a little smaller and just as a few booths where Galooney's had booths and tables crammed in. But the biggest change is that instead of ordering at the counter and either taking it to go or having it brought to your table (if you were lucky), you now sit down and wait for a server. You can still order at the counter to go, but if you want to eat it, you have to sit down and order from the table.

I'm not a huge fan of this change since it makes grabbing a meal there far more formal than it should be, and when there's only one or two servers, the wait can get pretty long if they suddenly get swamped at the counter and at the tables. Also, and this is maybe a selfish concern, but with table service I'm going to be forced to tip more, which might make me go there less often. Oh yeah, and instead of having self-serve soda dispensers and paper cups, they now have for here cups that you have to wait for your server to refill for you. If you want take-out, which took about fifteen minutes the first time I was there, you can only get a can of soda. If I'm waiting upwards of fifteen minutes or more for takeout, give me a paper cup and some free refills. Also, ditch the table service, since just feels awkward and slows things down way too much.

But how's the food? It's fantastic. If you loved Galooney's and have been nervous about where you're going to get another philly cheesesteak that was as good, have no fear about coming back to the same location. I actually think Red's subs are better than Galooney's were. That was such a bold statement, I had to format it as such. The menu contains more than a few mainstays from the old Galooney's menu, and you can even order some subs "Galooney's style" if you want they served the way you remember, slathered with mayo and peppers and all that good stuff. Even if you've never been to Galooney's, get your sub Galooney's style anyway. Where Galooney's subs used to come in a choice of two different sizes, Red's offers one that is midway between a large and a small. It's the perfect size, in my opinion, but maybe not if you want leftovers or are sharing. It's better than what you'd get at Caffrey's, however, which are delicious but always leave me feeling as hungry as I was when I walked in. Come to Red's and you'll leave full.

About the pizza I can't comment yet because I haven't tried it. But I already have to dock them a few points because they don't offer slices. Admittedly, I was never a big fan of Galooney's pizza, choosing to go there for the subs almost exclusively, but I would pop in every now and again for a slice and a soda. You can't do that at Red's, which totally sucks, in my opinion. They're pizza seems to be reasonably priced and I'll probably try it someday, but then again, maybe I won't. Usually when I want pizza, I go with a place I know is good. I'd be more likely to give Red's a try if they offered it by the slice. I hate to belabor the point too much, but it just doesn't make any sense to me.

The service was a bit of a mixed bag both times I visited last week, but no so bad that I hesitated to come back again within the same week. Also, it's a newly opened joint so we can't expect everything to run smoothly. But they could speed up the ordering process by putting up a big menu board instead of forcing customers to flip through the menu's kept next to the register. Also, I think they need a better computer system or something, because it seemed to take them a while to punch everything in. Also, when we asked to have our check of $16.00 split between two credit cards, the waitress charged $12.00 to each card. I have no idea how a person could make a mistake like that, but it's a pretty big one all things considered. After I explained it to her, she apologized and voided the transaction and rerang it correctly.

Also, and don't tell my girlfriend I said this, but both times I visited there were some pretty girls working behind the counter. If you're into that sort of thing. I only mention that in the interest of full disclosure about the restaurant. Back when I used to go to Galooney's, there were always cute -- not to mentioned stoned -- guys working behind the counter. This is another improvement Red's has made.

I had a few issues to be sure, and made some suggestions that might kick the place up a notch, but even if they ignore me it's still going to be a fantastic sub shop. I spent much of this year worrying about what I was going to do after the loss of Galooney's, but I can finally sleep soundly at night. Red's is here, and all is right in the world.

4.5 out of 5