P.F. Chang's China Bistro

I know it's not cool to say such things about a chain restaurant, but P.F. Chang's used to be my favorite place for Chinese food. But over the years either my palate has gotten more sophisticated (doubtful) or their food has gotten worse (more likely), which in combination with ridiculously long waits and particularly poor service caused me to lower Chang's in my estimation. And the last time I went there, it was just a terrible experience.

My favorite dish in all of Chinese cuisine is Peking Duck, which is incredibly hard to find and when you do it's incredibly expensive. But all across the country, the Cantonese Duck at P.F. Chang's is a very good approximation. It's nowhere near as succulent or delicious as you'd find in an authentic Chinese restaurant, but it's good enough, with the same doughy pancakes, scallions, chopped cucumbers, and tangy hoisin sauce, and only 12 bucks. But on my last visit, the duck was gone -- completely stricken from the menu both in Edina and everywhere else. This was a few months ago and their online menu now has something called V.I.P, Duck, which very well may be the same thing, but the only description provided is, "Splurge a little... this dish will make you feel like royalty." And it's 20 bucks. No thanks.

Not being able to get the duck had been the second upset of the night, after the buzzer they gave us was broken. After waiting close to an hour for a table, we noticed people who had come after us being buzzed for a table. I finally went up to check on where we were, and they said they had buzzed us a while ago. I assured them we han't been, and when they took the buzzer back, they noticed it wasn't working. They didn't apologize, just gave us another one and said we were moved to the top of the list. Having to wait a while longer for a table just to learn we couldn't get the duck was a shame, but not the end of the world since the rest of their food is quite good, if a bit overpriced all things considered. The duck was one of the few dishes that you couldn't find at any other Chinese restaurant, so it made it worth the trip and worth the money. Having to wait an hour for a table just so you can pay $12 for an order of beef with broccoli doesn't really make sense. But my girlfriend and I had already say down so we went ahead and ordered two different entrees with white rice.

It also wasn't the end of the world when the server brought our meals with brown rice instead of white rice, but the fact that she dropped it all off so quickly and then turned and walked away with asking if we needed anything else didn't help much. We tried to flag her down, but she never came over. Finally, after maybe ten minutes, a man walking around in a suit saw me trying to flag down a server -- any server at that point. We told him we had ordered white rice and not brown, and he apologized and said he would be right back. After a few more minutes, our waitress finally came back to check in, and we told her about the rice mix up, but that we had told some guy about it and that he would come back.

"You told one of those guys?" she asked, gesturing toward an hispanic busboy clearing the next table. "I don't think they speak English. Don't ask them for anything."

I tried my best to ignore the somewhat racist implications in her statement and lether know that we had asked an older gentleman in a suit. She seemed upset by this because he was clearly one of the restaurant's managers. She told us that he probably wouldn't be able to get more white rice because it was still cooking and would be awhile. Then she just walked away. The manager came back while later and said that the white rice was indeed cooking and that it would be a few more minutes, and then offered to take our food away and bring it back when the rice was done. By that point we had been in the restaurant over and hour and just wanted to eat our food, so we said it was fine.

The white rice finally came as we were finishing up the last few bits of our food, and the manager gaves us something like %15 off of our appetizer. How nice. Oh, and while all of this was happening, we watched another table attempting to flag down a server to bring their check for about a half an hour. So at least it wasn't just our bad luck. It got spread around a little that night.

So we haven't been back, nor do we intend to anytime soon. The service that night had been exceptionally poor, but even at their best it's never been very good. It's just an overcrowded, overpriced, overhyped chain Chinese restaurant that used to have one dish I liked but now they don't. But check it out if you're into that sort of thing.

2 out of 5

Roat Osha

In the beginning, there was Sawatdee, first in St. Paul and then all over Minnesota, with my favorite located on the corner of Hennepin and 26th st, in a building that was clearly a converted Hardee's. After many years, the Sawatdee sign came down and it existed for a while as "that Thai restuarant that used to be Sawatdee." It was very strange going to a restaurant with no name -- even the menus just said "menu" -- but the decor and the cuisine were identical to Sawatdee's, so it was worth it. Then, the entire building came down, only to be completely rebuilt as yet another Thai restaurant, Roat Osha, owned by the people as Tum Rup Thai a few blocks away on Lake St.

Now, I bored you with that history lesson for one reason: I had to pad my review because I don't have that much to say about Roat Osha, other than that it's my favorite Thai restuarant in Uptown. Honestly, there aren't any bad Thai restaurants in Uptown, so you can't go wrong with any of them, and I frankly don't have a sophisticated enough palate to lecture you on the differences between the red curry found at Roat Osha opposed to anywhere else. To me, they all taste very, very similar, which is good because that means they are all very, very good.

What separates Roat Osha for me is that ambiance is just... better. The ceilings are high and the windows are big, so the space feels bright and vibrant. It also gets very crowded, but the layout of the restaurant somehow counters that and makes it feel quieter and more under control. The servers are extremely friendly and helpful, which is more than I can say from what you'll find at those other Thai places in Uptown. Oh, and there's free parking in their lot, which makes it worth the trip if you're actually driving to Uptown.

And that's all I have to say about Roat Osha, a fantastic Thai restaurant that gets my thumbs up. If you want Thai and you're in Uptown, you can't go wrong, but you can't go much righter by going here.

5 out of 5

Amazing Thailand

If you're interested in checking out Amazing Thailand, you should probably do it soon. In the three or four years I've lived in Minneapolis, that location house been home to more failed restaurants than I can count. And while Amazing Thailand is ok, I don't think it's going to be good enough to break the curse. And, really, does Uptown need another Thai restaurant?
Amazing Thailand is certainly noticeable. It's that place on Hennepin with the horrendous, rainbow-colored sign. But when you actually go inside, it's really quite cool and atmospheric. The statuary, plants, and intricate woodwork really make the place look gorgeous. There's a bar in the front, a few different rooms with tables and booths, and the usual put-some-tables-on-the-sidewalk-and-call-it-a-patio that's way too common in Uptown. Listen up, Uptown, nobody wants to eat on a sidewalk.

But enough about that… how's the food? It's ok. It's all right. It's not bad. It's a bit of a mixed bag. On my first visit, I got the duck curry and my friend got the Tom Kha soup, both of which were really good and made us eager to come back. The second visit, however, was a huge letdown.

For some reason, we decided to start off with the appetizer combo, which was a mistake because they crammed more food on there than most families in Thailand probably eat all year. Why not offer an appetizer combo that actually accommodates a party of less than, say, ten people? And make it under 22 bucks. That's just too much to pay for an appetizer. But we knew that going in, so there's nobody to blame but ourselves. I wish I had known going in that it was going to be mediocre, however. I can certainly blame the kitchen for that. Everything but the spring rolls were deep friend and sickening, especially this mass of something called an "angel wing" that seemed to be made out of cornmeal and intestines. It probably wasn't, but that's what it looked, smelled, and tasted like. But the egg rolls were quite good, and they gave us six(!!) different dipping sauces. The waiter tried to explain what they were all for, but I fell asleep before he finished his explanation. Still, I love sauce and would rather have too many than not enough, especially when they were as good as these.

Because of the appetizer combo, we decided to split some barbecued pork entrée. This was a mistake. When I said it was "barbecued pork," I should've actually described it as "deep fried pig fat." But the menu didn't say that. It actually described it as some kind of meat dish that might actually be digestible by a normal, human stomach. Now, I hate to sound like some kind of crude, uncouth, ugly American, but we couldn't eat that. You wouldn't be able to eat it either. I couldn't even chew it. We asked the waiter if it was supposed to be like that, and he said it was. Apparently, that's how people in Thailand eat their pork. He didn't apologize or offer to bring something else. He just seemed annoyed that we found it unappetizing. I suppose I should commend them for offering such authentic cuisine.

And because it was so good the first time around (and because it's a block away from my apartment), I decided to give it a third try, sticking with a curry dish with some fried rice. Very good, if unspectacular. However, for the entire time we were there, the same song kept playing on a continuous loop. And I'm not talking about a collection of Thai music that all sounds the same to my American, uncultured ears, but an actual pop song that played over and over again. I think it was John Mayer or Maroon 5 or some such thing. After an hour or so, we decided to ask the waitress about it, who hadn't noticed, but said the bartender was probably trying to be funny. We asked very nicely to have it changed, but that never happened. It probably played all night.

So, Amazing Thailand isn't a bad restaurant, it's just not that good, and I had one too many experiences that have kept me from going back since.

3 out of 5