Amazing Thailand

If you're interested in checking out Amazing Thailand, you should probably do it soon. In the three or four years I've lived in Minneapolis, that location house been home to more failed restaurants than I can count. And while Amazing Thailand is ok, I don't think it's going to be good enough to break the curse. And, really, does Uptown need another Thai restaurant?
Amazing Thailand is certainly noticeable. It's that place on Hennepin with the horrendous, rainbow-colored sign. But when you actually go inside, it's really quite cool and atmospheric. The statuary, plants, and intricate woodwork really make the place look gorgeous. There's a bar in the front, a few different rooms with tables and booths, and the usual put-some-tables-on-the-sidewalk-and-call-it-a-patio that's way too common in Uptown. Listen up, Uptown, nobody wants to eat on a sidewalk.

But enough about that… how's the food? It's ok. It's all right. It's not bad. It's a bit of a mixed bag. On my first visit, I got the duck curry and my friend got the Tom Kha soup, both of which were really good and made us eager to come back. The second visit, however, was a huge letdown.

For some reason, we decided to start off with the appetizer combo, which was a mistake because they crammed more food on there than most families in Thailand probably eat all year. Why not offer an appetizer combo that actually accommodates a party of less than, say, ten people? And make it under 22 bucks. That's just too much to pay for an appetizer. But we knew that going in, so there's nobody to blame but ourselves. I wish I had known going in that it was going to be mediocre, however. I can certainly blame the kitchen for that. Everything but the spring rolls were deep friend and sickening, especially this mass of something called an "angel wing" that seemed to be made out of cornmeal and intestines. It probably wasn't, but that's what it looked, smelled, and tasted like. But the egg rolls were quite good, and they gave us six(!!) different dipping sauces. The waiter tried to explain what they were all for, but I fell asleep before he finished his explanation. Still, I love sauce and would rather have too many than not enough, especially when they were as good as these.

Because of the appetizer combo, we decided to split some barbecued pork entrée. This was a mistake. When I said it was "barbecued pork," I should've actually described it as "deep fried pig fat." But the menu didn't say that. It actually described it as some kind of meat dish that might actually be digestible by a normal, human stomach. Now, I hate to sound like some kind of crude, uncouth, ugly American, but we couldn't eat that. You wouldn't be able to eat it either. I couldn't even chew it. We asked the waiter if it was supposed to be like that, and he said it was. Apparently, that's how people in Thailand eat their pork. He didn't apologize or offer to bring something else. He just seemed annoyed that we found it unappetizing. I suppose I should commend them for offering such authentic cuisine.

And because it was so good the first time around (and because it's a block away from my apartment), I decided to give it a third try, sticking with a curry dish with some fried rice. Very good, if unspectacular. However, for the entire time we were there, the same song kept playing on a continuous loop. And I'm not talking about a collection of Thai music that all sounds the same to my American, uncultured ears, but an actual pop song that played over and over again. I think it was John Mayer or Maroon 5 or some such thing. After an hour or so, we decided to ask the waitress about it, who hadn't noticed, but said the bartender was probably trying to be funny. We asked very nicely to have it changed, but that never happened. It probably played all night.

So, Amazing Thailand isn't a bad restaurant, it's just not that good, and I had one too many experiences that have kept me from going back since.

3 out of 5