Twin Cities Teppanyaki Round-Up

Teppanyaki: Or, as it's known in America, one of those restaurants where they cook at your table. It's good food, usually in plentiful portions and in multiple courses, accompanied by a show put on by your chef. I love Teppanyaki stlyle cuisine and have been going to such restaurants since I was a kid. I've had a chance to try a few places in the Twin Cities and figured I'd give my opinions on each and rank them accordingly.

I'm sure there are several more restaurants in the Twin Cities that offer Teppanyaki style cooking at your table, but I'm going to be talking about just three: Benihana, Ichiban, and Sushi Tango. I'll take into account flavor, ambiance, entertainment value, and whatever else either enthralled me or annoyed me about each place.

Benihana
Benihana might be my all time favorite restaurant, but that has more to do with simple nostalgia than anything else. I've been going there almost every year for my birthday since before I can even remember, but at least for two decades or so (with just a few exceptions here and there, when I was in college or live in a place where there was no Benihana, heave forbid.) It has become something of a Pfeffer tradition, and it is pretty much the place that popularized this style of cuisine in America. They were the first and the best, and that's what makes them great... but it's also what makes them some what lacking as of late. The first gets to pioneer and dominate, but in their attempt to spread and stay on top for so long, certain sacrifices have to be made and things become stale and generic. But I'll never stop going there and I'll never stop loving it.

To begin with, the food is just fantastic with layers upon layers of incredibly flavor... much of which comes from the copious amounts of butter and soy sauce. If you're on a diet, you might want to avoid Benihana, since there's nothing you can eat that isn't smothered with butter. Even the shrimp or scallops or other such item that sounds healthy by itself is going to be served coated in butter and dripping with soy sauce. And then, of course, you have to dip it in either of the two sauces that come with each plate. Every diner gets a cup of ginger sauce and some kind of mayo sauce, both of which are amazing. My mother and my sister always request two ginger sauces and no mayo, but I get both and dip indiscriminately in either, often mixing them together for a taste sensation that must be experienced to be understood. By the time the chef is done, I usually have to ask for a few refills for my sauce cups.

But my favorite part of the meal is the salad, which is topped with an amazing ginger dressing that is the best thing I've ever tasted in my entire life. I love this dressing and so does everybody else who's ever tried it. It's simply phenomenal. I also love the soup, the incredible chicken fried rice, shrimp, steak, vegetables, and everything else they give you.

So I can understand when people complain about the food being heavy. I can understand when people say that they feel full and sick to their stomach after eating a heaping portion of Benihana's food. But I can't understand when people say they don't want to go there since that's the point. I wouldn't go to Benihana every day, but two or three times a year it's an absolute treat. And, ok, I would go every night if I could, but I would go broke. It's kind of expensive. And I guess I would die of diabetes too or have a heart attack, but I'd go out with a smile on my face.

The service can range from terrible to kind of not bad. The wait staff always seems like they are in a hurry, and that's probably because every location has about 800 tables spread over the course of a building the size of a football field. The chefs also tend to range in quality, but none of them have been all that exceptional over the course of my last few visits. Once you've been to Benihana, you've seen the entire shtick and heard all of the jokes. I definitely love the shtick and enjoy hearing the same jokes and seeing the same tricks every time, but at this point it's because of nostalgia and not because the chefs are all that entertaining. Most are actually poor performers lacking much charisma who seem like they are bored to be there, which isn't surprising because they must do the same patter dozens of times a night five or six nights a week. Also, and I don't want this to come out the wrong way, but I can't remember the last time I've seen an Asian chef at a Benihana. They are all Hispanic, which is fine -- more than fine! -- but it does seem odd when they say things like "domo arigato" and "sayonara."
Overall Rating: 4 out of 5

Ichiban
I would be tempted to describe Ichiban as a poor man's Benihana, but it might actually be more expensive. But in terms of flavor and entertainment value, Ichiban just doesn't come close. It's just like Benihana, but not as good. It's sort of like the Bizarro Benihana.

Benihana starts their meal with one of the best salads you'll ever have, while Ichiban gives you some kind of weird cucumber salad that I just didn't like. Benihana gives you a succulent, delicious shrimp appetizer, while Ichiban gives you chicken livers mixed with mushrooms. The chicken livers are doused with butter and soy sauce so the first bite makes them seem edible, but after two or three, I felt like I was going to be sick. They just didn't taste right, with an odd, sandy texture that just put me off. And the rest of the food was just bland, but at least it wasn't as bad as the chicken livers and salad. The food at Ichiban isn't bad (except for the livers), but it just isn't worth the exorbitant price.

The chefs might have a little more personality than Benihana's, however, even though they perform mostly the same tricks and tell the same jokes. But at least they smile once or twice and attempt to make some kind of connection with the diners. Also, the service from the wait stuff is way better. And while every Benihana looks like a giant, unfinished basement, the ambiance and decor at Ichiban is actually quite stunning and very cool. This is a great looking restaurant that has a lot of charm. It's just not that good.
Overall Rating: 2 out of 5

Sushi Tango
I've already raved about Sushi Tango's sushi section (you can read my review here), but they also have a few teppanyaki tables tucked way in the back of the restaurant, almost as an afterthought. But trust me... the food is so good they should think about changing their name to Teppanyaki Tango. I've been to Tango many times, but I have only had their Teppanyaki once and it was a fantastic experience.

Sushi has the luxury of not being a chain (although there are two of them) so they don't have to mass produce their cuisine or brand of service. This independence showed in both the quality of their food and in the service provided by our chef. The chef was named Chan and he was clever and charming and engaging and made me enjoy the show provided with my teppanyaki meal in a way that I haven't experienced since I went to Benihana as a child. He did a bunch of tricks and that are typical for this kind of thing, but he did them with such charm and wit that it seemed like he was making them up as he went along, and he actually engaged us all in conversation. Most important of all, he performed and cooked for us with with exuberance and glee that it seemed like he was having as much fun as we were.

And the food was delicious. I ordered the tuna steak seared rare, and it melted in my mouth even before I took a bite. It was just awesome. My girlfriend Shannon ordered filet mignon, which was tender and flavorful and much better than Benihana's (sorry!!). My sister Tanya got lobster tail, which was every bit as good as you'd expect. But I think the tuna was the best, and that's notable because I don't think either other place offers it on their menu.

The dipping sauces were similar to Benihana's, but not quite as flavorful in my opinion. The fried rice was fantastic and maybe better than Benihana's (it was certainly lighter and less filling), but it didn't have chicken. And while the salad was very good, it wasn't as legendary as Benihana's. Tango's food and service was so good, it almost made me forget Benihana... almost. Both Shannon and Tanya agreed that it was better and they mocked me for still preferring Benihana. What can I say? Nostalgia is a powerful thing. But all in all, the level of service was the best and the quality of the ingredients was outstanding. It's also the most reasonably priced.
Overall Rating: 5 out of 5

Conclusion:
It breaks down like this: Ichiban kind of sucked, Tango was the best, but I'm still going to spend every birthday at Benihana. I prefer their salad dressing and fried rice, love them for their nostalgia, and have a membership in their "Chef's Table" club that gets me a free meal in the month of my birthday. I love Benihana, but I'd still recommend Tango as the best place in the Twin Cities to get some great teppanyaki.

Me and Shannon

Ted Cook's 19th Hole BBQ

I've lived all over the country and all over the world, so while that makes me cultured and erudite and knowledgeable about other cultures, it also tends to make me an insufferable dinner companion sometimes. Just ask my girlfriend Shannon.

Because I'm from the east coast, I think the pizza out here in Minnesota is ok at best, but doesn't hold a candle to Pepe's in New Haven or anything you can get at the best places in New York City. And I cry a little bit on the inside when Minnesotans actually talk about walleye as "seafood."

I went to college in Baltimore, so no crab cake I've ever gotten since has lived up to my lofty standard.

I lived in Switzerland for over six years (and went to school just down the street from the Lindt factory!), so I consider myself something of an expert on chocolate. And don't even try to talk to me about fondue.

And I lived in the south for years, so I know me some barbecue. Hands down, there is no way any person not from the south, in the south, or somehow connected to the south can make barbecue that won't have me yearning for my days spent below the Mason Dixon line.

Well... except for Ted Cook, that is. Or whoever is working the smoker over at Ted Cook's 19th Hole Barbecue anyway. Now this stuff... this stuff is the real deal.

To be honest, when I say I lived in the south, I actually only lived in Balitmore, MD and Charlottesville, VA. Baltimore is just about as north as you can get while still claiming to live in the south, and Charlottesville is a college town, so while it is in the middle of Virginia, it's hardly representative of the rest of the state. So when I say that Ted Cook's has better BBQ than I used to get when I lived down south, it doesn't mean it's better than any BBQ you can get in the south, just better than any that I used to get. But by any standard, it's really good BBQ.

It's the kind of place that, as soon as you walk inside, you know it's going to be good. There are no tables, no chairs, and no real ambiance or charm of any kind. There's just a menu on the wall (with huge pictures, in case you weren't sure of what a rib is), a counter where you order, and a hole in the back wall through which some mysterious magical being hands out BBQ after you order it. This is southern style BBQ that comes sweet, hot, and with coleslaw a piece of white bread. And just like down south, half the fun is in figuring out what to do with the bread and how quickly you can throw away the coleslaw.

About the food there is little else to say except that it's great. The ribs were falling-off-the-bone tender, the pork was smoky and dripping with sauce, and the brisket just about melted in my mouth as quickly as I could shovel it in. The highest compliment I can pay this place is that now, after watching hours of programs about BBQ on the Food Network, I finally know of a place close by that will cure any cravings I get.

About the only negative things I can say about this place are that the "jojo potatoes" were mediocre and the prices were a little too high. Their jojo potatoes were basically just a huge mass of homemade chips that were either too thick or too crammed into the deep fryer, so none were able to cook through completely, leaving a big, dripping mass of chewy potato. Of course, we ate them all anyway. And the prices were a little too high, but considering how much you get, not so exorbitant that they were unreasonable. But a few more all a carte options at lower prices wouldn't be such a bad idea in my opinion.

But, at the end of the day, this was just good BBQ. And now when I start on a rant about how good the food was when I lived in the south, people can shut me about about the BBQ in South Minneapolis.

Birchwood Cafe

Guest Review
My biggest criticism of the Birchwood Cafe is that it is too good. I know that sounds odd for a restaurant review, but the success of this place makes it almost unbearable to eat there. It is cafeteria style, which means you order your food at the counter, and then find a seat. This stresses me out. I don't like having to go into a restaurant with seat finding strategies. "Ok, I'll order, and you go find a seat." Do you cut in front of people who are not using that strategy? Or, do you wait your turn, all the while watching more eager diners snatch up the scarce spots to enjoy Birchwood's delicious offerings? What if your dining party wants to pay separately? It's just too much for me. Plus, I can't enjoy my food knowing that there are people, circling around like vultures, waiting for my spot.

As I said, it's the quality of their food which makes this such a problem. If it were a worse restaurant, I could just write it off completely. But it is really, really good. They use fresh and local ingredients, and have an unwavering commitment to the community. Unlike my brother, I like supporting local businesses, am willing to pay more for organic food, and try to "shop ethically" whenever possible.
And, they have wine and beer! I probably couldn't design a better restaurant for myself. Except, in my design, there would be servers. Come on Birchwood! I can't savor your succulent offerings while developing an ulcer from your hungry on lookers.

You may say that the problem is mine, and not the restaurant's. I'm sure that I am not the only one who feels this way. In fact, after brunch there this Sunday (divine Turkey, Mushroom & Wild Rice Crepes), my girlfriend vowed to never go back. We couldn't even sit and enjoy a second cup of freshly brewed Peace Coffee.

All that being said, I do recommend the Birchwood Cafe. At least give it a try, and decide for yourself if you can handle the constant stress. Maybe you are better equipped for that sort of thing. If not, head over to Common Roots Cafe - another right-minded local eatery.

In Memoriam: Blackbird Cafe

Blackbird Cafe, along with Patina, Heidi's and Shoppe Local were destroyed today in a fire. Read more about it here.

I actually work just a few blocks away from this location, and watched as firetruck after firetruck sped down the street. After I went out to investigate, I saw huge smoke clouds billowing in the distance. News helicopters flew overheard for most of the late afternoon. So far it sounds like there were no casualties or major injuries, but the loss of the local businesses is devastating. I hope everyone has insurance and comes back strong, especially Blackbird, which, as I mentioned in my review, is one of the best restaurants in the Twin Cities.

Restaurant Websites

I hate the websites of most restaurants. They're either too slow, too flashy, too ugly, or just plain uninformative. But even worse than a bad website, are those Luddite eateries that don't even have websites at all. So far as I can tell, there are only three reasons to ever look at a restaurant's website: To check out the menu, find the address or phone number, or to inquire about prices. Nobody goes to these website's to be entertained, though it's nice to have an attractive page to keep up a customer's interest.

Anyway, I'm going to offer a few of my simple rules that every restaurant owner should follow when having their websites designed:

1. Have a Menu, Dammit!
This is, seriously, the most egregious offense any website can make. It's amazing how often you'll come across this ridiculous commission, as though restaurateurs assume that food is the least important part of the dining experience. Reality check: It's the most important part! Often, the menu is left out because it's "coming soon" through a dead link or a button that has yet to be activated, but this is no excuse. If you don't have the menu working, the website isn't working. It's as simple as that.

And if you do have a menu, for pete's sake don't have it as a PDF file. That just annoys me and probably slows down (or crashes) many computers. PDF sucks. Oh, and have all of the prices listed. That's important too. I don't care how good the food sounds, if there are no prices, I'm going to assume you don't want me to see them so I'm not coming there to eat.

2. Keep it Simple, Dammit!
Please, no Flash.  If I have to sit through some long, annoying intro just because I'm trying to find a phone number so I can make a reservation, I'm going to be annoyed even before I set foot in your restaurant. Just have a page with clear, simple links that are easy to find and easy to navigate. And don't have some annoying animation that reloads everytime I accidentally hit the wrong link or backup to go to the front page.

And, please, for the love of all that's holy, no music, no sound effects, and no voices yelling at me. I just want to read a menu in peace.

3. Keep it Attractive, Dammit!
Having said that, it's still important that a website look good. And, no, you don't need Flash to look good, just a nice, clean style that doesn't have a garish color scheme or an awkward layout. You try to make your food look good, right? So make your website look good too. But don't have it crash my damn computer.

4. Keep it Updated, Dammit!
If I read your menu online, I don't want to be surprised when I arrive and see that the best looking item is gone. If you have changed your hours or your phone number, you'd better make sure that's corrected on your website. And if I come in for happy hour, the hours you have listed damn well better be accurate, or I'm gonna be pissed.

Some Example Websites:
Here are some examples of some websites I've seen that either impressed me or annoyed me. By no means is this any attempt at an exhaustive, comprehensive list, just some lists that I've read lately with my opinions listed.

Black Bird
This is just a really good, really well designed website. It's simple, it's clean, it's attractive, and everything is easy to find. I'm not nuts about the color scheme, but it's certainly not ugly and does reflect the look of the actual restaurant. Good job.

Cafe Barbette
Ugh!
By no means the worst website around, but boy is it ugly. the restaurant itself seems to pride itself on its odd, almost garish design, but it works a lot better as an interior design choice than it does as a website. Seriously, who thought that white on red was an ok way to display text? Oh, and PDF menu links. And when you look at the menus, it's just black text on a white background. Why couldn't that have been written as html on the website itself?

Lyndale Tap House
Way too much text on the front page -- who's really going to read all this stuff -- but a well designed website all the same. What I want to illustrate here is their menu, which is presented pretty much perfectly as a series of images instead of just boring text or as an annoying PDF file. This is how it should be done. It is a bit small, however, which is one of the problems with using images like this. Too small and the info is hard to read, too big and it'll slow down most computers.

Mt. Fuji
Where to start with this one? First of all, it's just ugly. Bad colors, awkward design, and a less than intuitive layout. I mean, look at that menu? They couldn't have formatted that a little better so it wasn't just a giant page full of text that takes forever to scroll through? Break it up into sections.

Also, and worst of all, this is the website that inspired by above rant about websites that have their happy hour times wrong. The website says happy hour on Saturday starts at 9:00pm, but Shannon and I discovered the hard way that it actually begins at 9:30pm. The server Brandon was apologetic and very accommodating when I politely complained, agreeing to charge us the happy hour price for our drinks as long as we were ok with waiting the extra twenty minuted before ordering food at the discounted prices. This was nice on his part, but hardly a perfect compromise considering the blame was entirely theirs. He also mentioned that at least one other party that evening had the same problem as us. And looking at their website, it has yet to be fixed.

Sushi Tango
This website is a marvel of graphic design, but it's also annoying to navigate, too loud, and annoys me. I hate Flash, but I will admit that this website has pretty good Flash, and the menu bar on the bottom keeps things from getting too hard to follow. But, still, I'd rather just not have all of this pizazz.

The Herkimer
One of my favorite restaurants also has one of my least favorite websites.

Let's just look at that front page for a second. What is the most prominent feature? A field to search for available tables and make a reservation. This is odd because Herkimer doesn't take reservations. You seat yourself. So why have this awkward, ugly field on the front of your website that serves no purpose and directs people to a different website? 

And their menus are PDFs.

So... how's my website?

Lyndale Tap House

The signature item at The Lyndale Tap House is their Pit Beef, which the menu describes as a "Baltimore tradition." Now, I went to college in Baltimore, lived there for about five years, and I've never heard of Pit Beef. I used to eat crabcakes by the ton, and I've cut my fingers more times than I can even remember tearing into some steamed crabs -- all while listening to the music of David Byrne, watching the movies of Barry Levinson and John Waters, and tuning in to every episode of Homicide -- but pit beef? News to me.

Which pisses me off because if the pit beef at Lyndale Tap is even half as "traditional" as they claim, I spent those fives years in Baltimore missing out like a sucker. I can't speak for what you'd find in the city of Baltimore, but the pit beef at Lyndale Tape in Uptown Minneapolis Minnesota is off the hook!

The Lyndale Tape House is located in the building that used to be J.P.'s Bistro, a restaurant that everybody claims was amazing, but I never got around to trying. Why would I go to a place that's right across the street from The Herkimer? I almost never even tried this place, because everytime I'd try, I'd just end up across the street. It actually took me a while to even realize it was a restaurant, because the upstairs houses some chiropractor that has a much bigger sign than this restaurant. They really need to get a bigger sign out from that makes it obvious it's a restaurant. But the sign on the side of the building says "Pit Beef" in big, neon letters, which is what convinced me to finally give it a try. I love beef, cooked in a pit or otherwise.

And, as I said above, the pit beef is awesome. It's... beef... that's cooked in a pit... I guess. It's kind of similar to brisket, though not quite as sweet or as tender, with a really powerful, smokey flavor. The Pit Beef sandwich I got was just the regular, which comes smothered with horseradish sauce and onions. I ordered it rare, which my girlfriend thought was gross and wouldn't eat it, but I thought it was perfect. The fries that accompanied the sandwich were fresh, hand-cut, and fantastic. Already on the table was a house-made hot sauce and malt vinnegar, both of which should already be on every table in the entire world -- even coffee tables.

I'm sure the other food is good too, but I wouldn't know since every time I've gone I've gotten the pit beef, and so has everybody else I'm with. It could be the only thing on the menu and I'd still give the place a rave review.

And since the name is Lyndale Tap House, they'd better have a pretty good selection of taps in the house. I'm happy to say they do, even though I've read many vexing reviews of the place that argue to the contrary. Looking over their menu, I count about 17 beers on tap, which is an especially impressive number considering how they are all very good selections. Also, all of their taps are half price during happy hour. How anybody could complain about a beer selection that offers Rocky's Revenge for three bucks or so is beyond me.

Also, I've always had the same waitress who is very charming and looks just like a young Marisa Tomei. I'm not saying that anybody should go to a restaurant just because one of the waitresses looks like Marisa Tomei, but I am saying that more restaurants should hire waitresses who look like Marisa Tomei. It just seems to make the food taste better.

The highest compliment I can pay Lyndale Tap House is that, even though it's directly across the street from my favorite restaurant, I have still managed to go there on more than one occasion. In fact, I even once meant to go to Herkimer, but actually ended up going to Lyndale Tap. What can I say? It brings me back to my days in Baltimore.