Prime Bar

(This restaurant has closed)

First there was Figlio, a long-standing Calhoun Square staple that was beloved by all in Uptown, had great food, a killer happy hour, and good service. Of course, because it was popular, the management company Parasole (I think) closed it, gutted it, and rebranded it as the phenomenally dismal Il Gatto. Il Gatto was everything that Figlio wasn't: It was dark, dank, had a crummy menu, and was always claustrophobic, and not because it was every crowded, but because the layout was terrible. If you wanted to get happy hour (which wasn't very good to begin with), you had to sit in the tiny bar area at the center of the restaurant, far removed from any windows or views of the outside world. I'd imagine this bar was popular only with sailors used to living in a submarine.

Needless to say, Il Gatto didn't make it, freeing up the prime location for somebody else to swoop in, with the appropriately named Primebar. It's too soon to tell if it will replace Figlio (and the still mysteriously absent Independent) in the hearts and memories of Uptown drunks, but after five seconds I already preferred it to Il Gatto.

Not sure if I've mentioned this yet, but Il Gatto really, really sucked.

To begin with, Primebar is lovely, with big windows that look out on Lake Street, making the new space even brighter and more open than Figlio was. It wasn't the most stunning or striking restaurant I've ever seen, but it was nice and well designed and the best this space has looked in years. For whatever reasons Uptown's restaurants and bars tend to be dungeonous and dank and cavernous, so I always applaud a place that actually allows some sunlight and fresh air inside. I didn't notice any patio seating, but that's ok with me since the tables on the sidewalk next to Lake street was always awful at the previous establishments. I'd much rather sit inside at a window than right on the sidewalk where buses zoom past, bikers knock into me, and those green vest charity beggars hound people for their credit card numbers.

I met my sister at 5:00 on Sunday evening to take advantage of their happy hour that runs from 3-7 Sunday through Thursday. I knew about the happy hour because I looked it up on their website, not because they have it posted anywhere. In fact, as of yet they don't even have a menu posted outside their door, which I find to be appalling. That's kind of a breach of restaurant etiquette 101. It wasn't desolate but not crowded either, and we got a table immediately, near a window and in view of at least three widescreen TVs hanging around the place all showing the Olympics. I love the Olympics and really like being able to check out a TV or two during dinner or happy hour, but if you're one of those people who hates TVs in bars, well... get over it already.

The happy hour menu itself was good for food but lacking for drinks. Well, lacking for beers anyway, since there were only two selections, one is Premium and the other is a rotating "manager's choice" selection, both for $2. Their tap beer selection is astoundingly good, so it's a real shame that their choices for happy hour are confined to one that is really mediocre and another that's a wildcard. I'd rather pay a little more than $2 and have a better selection of beers I'd actually like. There's also wine and well drinks available, but those might be a mixed bag as well. My sister got a gin and tonic that came totally flat. The waitress was understanding and apologetic and exchanged it immediately... with another gin and tonic that was just as flat. I'm not sure if that was a failure on the part of the waitress or the bartender, but that's pretty bad.

The food, however, was great and very well priced. We shared a few dishes, all of which were tasty and mostly made up for the weak drinks.

The pork sliders were pretty big and succulent, but be warned that they come topped with slaw. I used to live in the south so I'm used to BBQ coming smothered in slaw, and this was actually darn good slaw. I'd get these again.

The carnitas tacos were just as good and probably had the same pork, but that's ok because it was delicious. You got two with a side of salsa, both of which were covered with onion, avocado, and cheese (which I picked off because I'm not eating cheese this month).

The deviled eggs were plentiful and about as good as you'll ever get, although I could've done without the bacon (or whatever) on top.

And then we were still hungry so we got the warm pretzels, which seemed more like big loafs of pretzel bread, with honey mustard and cheese sauce for dipping. We definitely weren't hungry anymore after eating them.

Lots of pork there, now that I think about it, but that was pretty much all they offered. There was also hummus if you're into that sort of thing, but that was the only option for a vegan or anybody on a diet. I guess the biggest compliment I can pay to the food is that it all looked so good, I must've forgotten to take any pictures of anything to post here. Oh well.

So that's Primebar: A worthy and welcome new addition that will hopefully save the floundering Calhoun Square shopping center. The service was friendly and inviting (if not altogether exceptional) and the food was great. I liked the look of the rest of the menu and will definitely come back and get a real meal some day, probably after pay day since it's not the cheapest menu I've seen. I say... check it out.

The Lowbrow

The Lowbrow has slowly become my favorite restaurant in the Twin Cities. I've been going there almost every week or so for the past couple months, and if I've been remiss in writing up a review it's because I've been too busy eating their food to write about how good it is. Now, you'll notice I haven't said the Lowbrow is the best restaurant in the Twin Cities, nor that they have the best food or the most exceptional service: They simply have great food, good service, and an exceptional atmosphere that all adds up to the place that has become my first choice almost any time I'm hungry or just want to sit and get a beer. And I have no regrets about that.

I usually come to the Lowbrow for happy hour, since it's pretty great. They have a nice selection of (mostly) local taps for three bucks, similarly priced glasses of wine, and half price nachos which are fantastic and plentiful even if you just get the half-sized portion. I also really love their happy hour for another reason: It's just outside of Uptown (where I live), so it's usually not too crowded, it's never full of hipsters, frat boys, drunk girls, or just plain douches (no offense to Uptown! As I said, I live there and I love it... but you know...), and it's also a nice bike ride so I can trick myself into getting nachos and a couple beers and still think I'm getting some exercise.

My usual routine is to go to Comic Book College on Wednesday afternoon when their new stuff comes out, then take whatever I got over to Lowbrow where I read comics, drink a couple of Fulton Sweet Child of Vines, and usually get some nachos. During happy hour (3pm-5pm weekdays) the nachos are about three bucks, which is the price of a beer. You can also add on beef or pork or order a side of guacamole for an extra charge, but they don't need it. The nachos are pretty much perfect as is, and the salsa it comes with is fantastic... but I do sometimes get meat because meat makes everything better. But forget about the guacamole, since it's not that good. It was kind of bland and overly thick for my tastes. I don't know if they make their own guacamole or buy another brand, but it's the only thing I've ever tried here that was unspectacular.

Sometimes I skip the nachos (or just come for dinner) and get a burger. Their menu says they use "100% grass-fed Minnesota beef," and while that's all well and good, all I know is that they taste fantastic and come perfectly cooked. Anybody who has read my reviews of burger joints before knows that I love my burgers medium rare and rant and rave when a restaurant can't seem to cook a burger properly. The Lowbrow doesn't have this problem, and every burger I've ordered has come perfectly cooked every time. It always shocks me how rare it is to be able to get a burger that isn't... well...  medium rare. And this isn't because some restaurants are afraid of food-born illness, it's just because lots of places don't know how to cook a burger to order, or -- and I don't know if this is better or worse -- just don't care. The Lowbrow cares, and that's one of the main reasons I keep coming back. I also really love their buns, which are soft and tasty and seem freshly baked. It also shocks me how many places get fancy with their buns and use breads that are all but impossible to bite into, but I don't want to start off on another rant...

The burger I get most often is The Fire Breather, which is "chili rubbed with chipotle gouda, sauteed jalapenos, and spicy mayo." If that doesn't sound good to you, you're crazy. And if it does sound good to you, it's actually even better than you think. This would be on my list of the five or so best burgers I've ever had. I've had their other burgers as well, and they're all good because the quality is in the meat and the preparation, but the Fire Breather is definitely my favorite.

However, I've been off cheese lately (in my attempt to last the entire month of July without eating any cheese or drinking any milk), so I've been branching out. I could order the Fire Breather without cheese, of course, but what would be the point? It's sort of like this upcoming Jason Bourne movie starring Jeremy Renner in the lead. I'm sure it will be a good movie, but I'll just rewatch the ones with Matt Damon, thank you very much. Anyway, I've also had their pulled pork sandwich a few times, and it's pretty great, but it's not going to replace something you'd get at a local, dedicated BBQ joint. But it's still a darn good sandwich. Even better is their homemade fish sticks, which is basically just their version of fish and chips. Nobody who doesn't live here would believe me when I say this, but Minneapolis has somehow become something of a mecca for amazing fish and chips, and these more than stack up to the best I've had here. They are smaller and more "stick like," but the fish itself is fresh and perfectly cooked, and the batter is very light so you can really taste how good the fish is. They come with a fantastic house-made tartar sauce, and the waiter even brought along a bottle of malt vinegar before I could even ask, which is always a sign that a place means business.

Oh, and everything comes with fries, and if I haven't mentioned that already, it's only because I was saving the best for last. Here's all I'll say: fresh, house-cut, and perfect.

And the place is just cool, with a huge mural on the wall that some people might find garish but I think it's awesome. The colors are all muted earth tones, the wall paper and art is kitschy without being annoying, and the bar is topped with hundreds of laminated baseball cards. There's a nice selection of tables and booths, and even some tables out front on the sidewalk if you're into that sort of thing. I usually go for a booth, but I've sat outside when I was with people who wanted to be outside, and while I prefer a patio to sidewalk seating, the sidewalk is wide enough that it wasn't a problem.

So... that's the Lowbrow. Just go check it out already, and if you come on a Wednesday around 4:00 and see a bearded guy in the corner reading a comic book, come say hi.