The Malt Shop

I've been going to The Malt Shop a lot lately, because my friend Jester is desperately trying to become their mayor on Foursquare. I think she gave up on that because she realized that becoming mayor of a restaurant is impossible unless you actually work there, since eating out that often will only end up making you fat and broke. Well, The Malt Shop will make you fat, anyway, but probably not broke, since it's a super good but super cheap diner in South Minneapolis that has great burgers, awesome fries, and, of course, malts. Even if Jester didn't want to be mayor, we'd go there anyway.

I'll admit, the place doesn't look like much... which is actually just a polite way of calling it a dump. It's not dirty or gross, just plain and boring and maybe a little garish in their choice of decorations. But it's also charming and nice and feels authentic. The website says it was established in 1973, and I bet they haven't changed or updated much in these past 39 years. In fact, I would've gotten the same impression if they website had said they were established in 1953, or even earlier. This was the kind of place I would've gone to with my parents when I was a kid, and that they would've gone to with their parents when they were a kid. Long story short: It's a diner, and a darn good one.

Fish and Chips

I've been there a bunch of times, and only once did I get something other than a burger. I always intend to not get a burger, since I want to try the whole menu, or close to it anyway, but the burgers are so good I almost always break down. And since they have a pretty decent collection of different burgers, I'm eager to try them all as well. The one time I didn't get a burger was when I got the fish and chips. They were pretty good, but far from the best in the Twin Cities. They came with a pretty good but not all together exceptional tartar sauce, and were served in small pieces of four instead of large pieces of two. Weird, but not a deal breaker. Anyway, they were good, but if you want fish and chips, go to Brit's Pub, the Anchor, or The Local.

If you want a burger, however, go to The Malt Shop.

Jester always gets the LS Burger, which is a bacon cheeseburger. I've had the Malt Shop Supreme, which is basically just the LS Burger with mushrooms and avocado, and it was amazing. I've also had the Black and Bleu burger (Cajun burger with bleu cheese) and the Megamelt (pattymelt), both of which were also amazing. Well, maybe amazing isn't the right word, since I wouldn't call any of these the absolute best burgers you'll ever have, or even the best burgers in South Minneapolis. But they are delicious, perfectly prepared, and pretty big. Oh, and the most expensive burger on the menu is still only $8.99, and they all come with a pile of some of the best french fries around. They're thick -- but not too thick -- and taste fresh and delicious. Also, I like my burger cooked medium rare, and The Malt Shop chefs actually cook them medium rare every time. This sounds like a small thing to rave about, but it's odd how rarely this happens (no pun intended).

Maltshop Supreme... I think

Black and Bleu Burger

Megamelt

They also have a few different local beers on tap for about five bucks. At least, I think they're on tap. They serve them in a glass anyway. I wish I had tried more of the menu so I could talk about it, but, honestly, the burgers are so good I don't feel like I'm missing much.Of course, they also have malts, but I've only had a sip of somebody's and thought it was pretty great. Everybody always seems to get one and then raves about them. I'm not a big malt guy, so I wish I had more to say about the drink for which this place was named. I texted Jester and asked her for a couple lines about the malts for this review, and this was here reply:

I don't know what to say. They're yummy and fun to dip the fries in.

So... there you go.

The service ranges from excellent to awful, depending on whose section you're in. I don't want to get too personal, but the entire wait staff is attentive, friendly, and helpful, except for this one guy who's actually a huge jerk. You'll know him if you get him, and if you don't get him, you'll have no complaints. Anyway, that's The Malt Shop. Check it out if you want a great, cheap meal in a fun, cool place... just don't check in on Foursquare! Let Jester be mayor already.