Minnesota State Fair

The giant turkey leg is the perfect analogy for my annual State Fair experience. I always buy a turkey leg because I think I'm going to love it, and that first bite is so delicious. But after three or four bites, I realize it's just a giant, fatty piece of gristle. I've got crap on my face, grease running down my arm, and the realization that I still have to walk around with a giant wad of meat on a bone that would embarrass Fred Flintstone. Basically, what I'm saying is that the State Fair kind of sucks.

Of course, nobody is going to agree with me, because for whatever reason the two weeks or so during the fair are sacred. Maybe it's because I'm not from MN and thus wasn't born into the tradition that I'm able to look into it with an objective eye as the overblow, overrated flea market that it is. But, then again, maybe not. After all, when I was a kid we New Englanders had something called "The Big E" that was basically just the MN State Fair but for all of New England, and I remember growing tired of it as soon as I was able to walk. But take my opinion with a grain of salt because I've never liked rides, I've never liked crowds, and I hate being overcharged for mediocre food.

But if you love rides, crowds, and paying way too much for mediocre food, the State Fair must be a god send. To be sure, some of the food is good. I love funnel cake and the stuff at the fair is always delicious. But other than that... meh. People rave about the food and talk about how much they eat, but I don't get it. This year, I didn't get the turkey leg because, while waiting in line, I realize it was $7.50 (!!) I could spend on something I might actually enjoy. So I actually ended up spending 50 cents more than that on a buffalo steak kabob that, while good, was still nowhere near as moist or flavorful as something I could cook at home. And then there are things like Sweet Martha's cookies that are very good, but still not as good as the cookies my girlfriend makes. And if she's not around, I could go across the street to Common Roots or down the block to Bob's Java Hut and get cookies the other 50 weeks out of the year that put Sweet Martha's to shame. Granted, I won't get a bucket of cookies, but I also won't have to pay 15 bucks either.

And while I hate to harp on the money, it never ceases to amaze me how overpriced everything is. Six dollars for a cup of Premium? A six pack at a liquor store costs about five dollars. Seven fifty for a turkey leg? Four bucks for a corn dog? And add on to all of that the exorbitant cost to get in, which is insulting because you're basically paying admission for the opportunity to pay more money.

But, at the end of the day, it is a fun way to spend an afternoon, but only if you're with cool people with good attitudes. But, then again, cool people with good attitudes are fun to spend time with anywhere.

Still... I kind of regret not getting that turkey leg. So what does that say about me?