Bruegger's Bagels Bistro Burger

Bruegger's has bagel burgers now... so I had to give them a try:

Midtown Mission Week 3: Holy Land

Well, this was my first real disappointment at the Midtown Market.

My friend Shannon and I wanted gyros, so we went to Holy Land. They had gyros, and about ten thousand other things, which is cool, but sometimes a menu can get so extensive it just gets ridiculous. They literally had so many options and selections, they had multiple menues all around the place. There was a big menu above the counter, menues to the right of the counter, menues behind you, then other menues if you walk around the corner past the register. Maybe it was all of the menues, but it also took us a few minutes to figure out where to order. The whole place was just overwhelming.

I ordered the Philly Style Gyro sandwich, and I know what you're thinking... that's your fault, and you're right. But the picture looked great, and since I love gyros and phillies, I thought it would be the perfect combo. It was not. Imagine a gyro on a bun instead of a pita, and smothered with cheeze wiz instead of tsatsiki sauce. Ugh. I don't think it was actually cheeze wiz, but it was some kind of weird, unappealing cheese type sauce, which covered the gyro meat, onions, and peppers. Anyway, I didn't care for it.

I also ordered a side of fries, which weren't very good either. They were clearly frozen fries, which is fine, but they were bad frozen fries, that were mostly coating with very little potato.

Shannon got some kind of gyro lunch box, that came with pitas, meat, veggies, and tahini sauce, much to her dismay. Who puts tahini sauce on a gyro? Give tsatsiki! Even worse, it was bad tahini sauce, that was dark brown and incredibly thick. It looked and tasted like mud. She also got fries, but hers were noticeably browner and crustier than mine.

Anyway... that was Holy Land. I realize I should have probably got something more authentic than a philly gyro, but I can't imagine I'll go back any time soon, if ever again.

Sorry.

Midtown Mission Week 2: Sonora Grill

I'm not sure how to describe Sonora Grill, other than to just say that it was delicious.

Hold on... I just looked up the word "Sonora" and learned that it is a state in Mexico, so I guess this is a Mexican restaurant, but you wouldn't know that from the menu that is shockingly devoid of burritos and tacos. In fact, I didn't know what anything on the menu was, but luckily there is a big board on the wall that has pictures of just about everything, so I was able to figure out what looked good. I ended up getting the Pork Guajillo bocadillo, which is a "Spanish South American style sandwich, served with fries."

Anyway, it looked good in the picture, and as you can tell from the picture I took, it wasn't just good, it was amazing.

It was pulled pork of some sort topped with greens and some kind of creamy cilantro sauce. It came with french fries and one little container of pickles and another little container of the same sauce. The sandwich was already drenched with sauce, so I just used that to dip my fries in, but I did put the pickles on the sandwich. Long story short, it was awesome. The pork was perfectly cooked, flavorful, and incredibly juicy, and while the sauce was very mild in flavor, it perfectly complimented the meat.

The fries were fine. They did their job, but they didn't taste as though they were necessarily freshly cut.

And, frankly, that's all I have to say about Sonora Grill. Just go there. It was great. The only really complaint I have is that it was so good, I may have to abandon my mission to try every restaurant in the Midtown Market and just eat there every time.

Benihana at the Mall of America

The Benihana at the Mall of America is finally open. Donald has not eaten there yet, but he will as soon as possible. It looks nice. I mean... for a Benihana.

Midtown Mission Part 1: Andy's Garage

Here is the mission I have set for myself: To eat at every restaurant in the Midtown Global Market by the end of Summer/start of fall, or at least until it becomes too cold to bike there from my apartment.

Why? Because I love the Market, but I always tend to visit the same one or two places over and over again, so I wanted to force myself to branch out and try more things, at least for the sake of this blog. It's also the perfect distance for a nice bike ride, and I'd like to force myself to do more of that as well. So... I have begun the Midtown Mission.

Andy's Garage was my first choice to begin my mission, not only because I've heard so many raves about their food, but because I always overlook them when I visit. I always figure I can get a burger and fries anywhere, so why not get something more exotic? Anyway, yesterday I finally gave Andy's a try, and it was pretty good, but not exceptional.

Their menu is quite extensive, with a variety of different burgers and sandwiches, but I just got a cheeseburger and fries, because I don't care what you put on a burger, just cheese and pickles is going to be better. The service was great and very fast, although the wait for the food to come was about ten or fifteen minutes, but that's ok because everything was clearly made to order, and unlike many places in the Market, their seating area doesn't feel overcrowded or right in the middle of a busy hallway. And the space is fun to just look at, since it is a pretty nice facsimile of some greasy spoon diner from the fifties, and somehow manages to be cool without being overly obnoxious, if that makes any sense.

The best part of the burger was the bun, which tasted fresh and had that perfect tenderness that made it soft to the bite, but firm enough to not get soggy when wrapped around a juicy cheeseburger. The burger was perfectly cooked (although they didn't ask me how I wanted it done, so be warned that the default is toward well done, or at least mine was) and very juicy and tasted fresh, but I had to admit it was too salty for my tastes. I choose my words their very diplomatically because, as I said, people rave about this place and it's always crowded, so maybe it's just my tastes or maybe it was just an off day. Either way, I found the salt to be overpower and off-putting, which is a shame because everything else seemed so perfect.

The fries were about as fresh as I'll ever get at any restaurant anywhere, since they literally cut up the potato after I ordered, and the difference was amazing. I've never had fries that fresh or that well cooked. However... they were too salty for my tastes. I hate to say it, but there you go. Too salty for my tastes. I'd definitely go back for those fries, and ordering them with no salt shouldn't be a problem considering how they were a whole potato just five minutes before I placed my order.

So that's Andy's Garage, an almost perfect culinary experience, except for the fact that everything was over-salted for my tastes, but I'll definitely give them another try, and I do recommend you try them as well. I did get a pretty good cheeseburger, fries, and a fountain soda for under ten bucks, which is about as cheap a lunch as you'll get at the market. But ask them to go light on the salt.

World Street Kitchen

It's not the fault of World Street Kitchen that their cuisine didn't live up to my expectations, considering the fact that everybody who talks about it describes it as the most amazing culinary experience in the Twin Cities. When you go in expecting to be amazed, just being mildly impressed is turned into a disappointment. But I liked it ok. I thought it was pretty good. I'll probably even go back again, if only to give them another chance to amaze me. But I didn't love it, and I can't say I really understand the hype.

The place is nice, in that stripped down, retro kind of way where the ceiling's pipes are exposed and everything is unpainted wood. This is what every new restaurant looks like these days, and that's fine because it must be saving the restrauant industry millions of dollars on paint and varnish. Then again, I bet some construction companies charge extra to give restaurants that less is more feel. Anyway, I do like that look and thought that WSK's space was attractive and well designed, but they should get better chairs. Skimp on the paint and the ceiling, but make sure your chairs have cushions.

The service is one of those order at the counter, get a number, then wait for your food to come kind of deals. That's fine with me, although when they are busy I get stressed out because I hate having to order food before I am guaranteed I'll have a table, doubly so at a place that has a big sign that says to order before claiming a table. But feel free to disregard that sign because, frankly, that's unenforceable and too much to ask of soon to be paying customers. But when my sister Tanya and I went on a Thursday evening, the place had a nice crowd, but plenty of tables and booths to go around. The server behind the counter looked like every other hipster in every other Uptown Eatery, but she had a lovely smile and she was very friendly and helpful.

For my meal I got the guacamole appetizer and a Yum Yum Rice bowl with chicken, broccoli, and shiitake mushrooms. Tanya got a Yum Yum rice bowl with Korean BBQ short ribs and kimchi. Mine was ok, hers was better. A friend of hers recommended the yum yums, but with the caveat that we asked for the sauce on the side. Tanya did just that, but I did not. Perhaps this is why hers was better, but perhaps it's just that beef always trumps chicken. Anyway, mine had too much sauce, which was way too rich and way too salty. Even with the sauce on the side, Tanya's was also too salty. The flavors were good and the ingredients went well together, but yeah... too salty. And order the sauce on the side.

The guacamole was good, if bland, but it came topped with edamame and pickled onions, which I found off-putting. I don't like edamame, and they certainly have no place with guacamole, and since they are identical in color they were hard to avoid. The chips were homemade and fantastic, however, and probably the best part of the meal. That's not a knock at the other selections, that's just how good these chips were. I dunno if they have salsa, but if so, I'd try that next time.

They also have a decent tap selection, but I'm off drinking so I didn't peruse it. I got a can of soda, which was fine, but at a place like this, they really should have fountain drinks available. I finished my can before the food came, and I wasn't about to buy another one. Have a fountain so I can get refills.

Anyway, that's World Street Kitchen, a very nice little restaurant with an interesting menu and great service, but not one that I'm going to rush back to anytime soon... but I will probably amble back there eventually.

White Castle Breakfast

Don tries the new White Castle waffle sliders:

The New Walker Library

When I first visited the newly renovated Walker Library in Uptown, Minneapolis, I'll admit I was underwhelmed. Perfectly decent library in an attractive, spacious building, but for some reason I was expecting something... monumental. Maybe because they completely gutted the old building, maybe because the renovation took so long, or maybe just because the Downtown library is such a brilliant architectural achievement. I walked in and it just seemed like a library.

But then I came back a week or so later to hang out, and I realized it didn't smell, the carpet wasn't stained, the walls weren't pealing, there were no homeless people sleeping on the couches, and I didn't feel like I was in somebody's dank basement. A perfectly fine library in Uptown might be something monumental after all.

The old Walker library was literally in a basement. You walked into the main entrance, which was just a stairwell that went underground to a subterranean dungeon. The best thing I could say for it -- other than that it's a two minute walk from my apartment -- is that it was always cool, at least temperature-wise. Remember the slot on the front door where you could return books either after hours or just without having to go inside? It just dropped the books onto a slide that spiraled around and around until it reached the basement. Ridiculous.

Anyway, this isn't in a basement, which means it actually has windows. In fact, it's all windows, at least on its front three sides. The back leads to a parking garage, but in the front its bright and offers a great view of all the condos being constructed through-out Uptown. They've also replaced all of the future with a variety of tables and chairs that are pastel colored, which looks jarring at first, but it's pretty cool and fun. The only problem with the variety of chairs is that some are less comfortable than others, and like most from this style of retro chairs, the ones that look the most enticing are usually the worst. But none are terrible.

There is no roof-top patio, which maybe isn't worth mentioning. Why did I think this would have a roof-top patio? I dunno. I just did. The previous library may have been in a basement, but above ground it did have a cute little park area. Of course, I never sat there because I didn't want to sit on one of the benches and prick myself on some used syringe. That park was gross and nobody's going to miss it. The Library letters sculpture is preserved and placed around back, near the entrance to the parking area, in case you were curious. I was happy to see them again.

You can rent an iPad, which is pretty neat. It's free with a library card, but it asked for a pin number, which if I have, I don't know what is is. I'm sure one of the librarians could help me out, but I don't care enough. Why would I do with an iPad for two hours that I can't take out of the library? Also, if it's damaged or lost while in your possession, there's a $500 replacement fee. Fair enough.

So how are the books? I dunno. I have a Nook. There are a lot of books on my Nook, and this library is a comfortable, lovely place to read them. Check it out.

Don Ate That Part 1: Microwavable Cheeseburger

Mac's Fish & Chips

Mac's Fish & Chips opened around the corner from my work a couple of months ago, and I've been meaning to write this review already, but frankly I've just been too busy eating there. Long story short: Mac's is a fish and chips joint, which already makes it a worthy destination, but luckily it's also a pretty good one.

I was born and raised in New England and spent my summers on the beach eating at shacks just like Mac's... sorta. Minnesota is a land-locked state (sorry, Minnesota, but none of your ten thousand lakes count) far from a real beach or local fishing village, so of course it's not going to compete with what I had as a kid... but nothing ever does. 

Think of Mac's as sort of the Matt's bar of fish and chips. For comparison's sake, I'd call the Anchor the 112 Eatery of fish and chips, and Stella's... well... I honestly can't think of any reason to go to Stella's. But I was talking about Mac's: You go up to a counter, order from a menu that includes fish, clams, chicken, and shrimp, get a beer, then sit down and shove it all in your face then leave happy. Before it was a fish and chips joint, the space used to be a yoga studio. For some reason I find that hilarious, and if every yoga studio in Minneapolis turned into a fish and chips joint, the world would be a happier place.

As I said, they opened a couple months ago on the same block where I work, so I've been there enough times that I've already worked my way through their menu. Here are my thoughts:

Halibut:  The most expensive item on the menu, and also the best. It's a huge, flavorful, flaky white fish. Remember the opening of the Flintstones where Fred orders those brontosaurus ribs that are so huge they tip over his car? That's how I felt when the guy brought over my halibut. The fish literally stuck over the tray and looked so big I thought the table would tip over. But I'll be honest: at first glance I wasn't that impressed with the sight. I thought it looked like long john silvers and assumed it was going to be all hard batter with little to no fish inside, but then I took a bite and it was perfect. The batter was perfectly tender, the fish was perfectly cooked, and... this is important... it tasted like fish without being fishy.

Walleye: A Minnesota staple. I certainly never heard of walleye until I moved out here. I suppose this is the freshest fish in the place, and as the mid-priced option, the value basket has become my regular choice when I stop in. It's not as huge a chunk of fish as the halibut, nor is the flavor quite as exceptional, but it's still perfectly cooked and a great piece of fish. This is what I always get, and it's what I'd recommend first.

Cod: Good, but not all together exceptional, and seems to vary in quality from visit to visit. The first time I tried the cod was as a sandwich, and it wasn't very good. It was small, had too much batter, and tasted like a fish filet from McDonald's. I later gave it another shot as part of a value basket, and it was way better. It was actually good, but still not as good or flavorful as the walleye or halibut. It's cheap, though, and it's probably what people get for their kids. It's ok, but I recommend spending the couple dollars more and getting something better.

Shrimp: Fried jumbo shrimp. These were great, and surprisingly huge. They were lightly battered, so you could really appreciate the shrimp flavor. Not much you can say about fried shrimp other than that they were plump and delicious. I only got these once, however, because they are a bit pricy for the amount you get. That's not necessarily a complaint since shrimp is just one of those things I'd need to eat a dozen of before I'm full.

Clams: Good, but not great, and maybe disappointing if only because I was so excited to see clams on the menu. As I said, I grew up in New England, and fried clams were a staple of my childhood cuisine, and these didn't quite live up to my memory. They were fine and had the same light breading as the shrimp, but they didn't have enough clam flavor, and were a little too thin and not thick as they should be. I might try these again as a sandwich to create a clam roll, but then again I'll probably just get the walleye. I don't want to sound like a snob, but if you didn't grow up on the Atlantic ocean eating clams, you might love these more than I did.

Chicken: The only thing on the menu I'd maybe call bad, but because I love the place so much I'll be charitable and just say they weren't too my liking. The chicken itself was clearly of a high quality, but the batter just didn't work for me. They tasted like chicken made with the same batter as the fish and cooked in the same oil, so they were some kind of amalgam of chicken with fish flavor, if that makes any sense. I think they should use a lighter batter, or just the breading they use for the shrimp and clams. I just didn't really care for them. Having said that, however, I did eat the entire order, so they weren't awful.

Fries: Freshly cut french fries. Not much to say here, other than that they are pretty good and perfectly compliment the fish.

Cole Slaw: Yeah, every order comes with cole slaw... but wait! It's actually pretty good cole slaw. It just tastes like lettuce and cabbage mixed with butter milk. Sometimes the butter milk is light, and sometimes it's just swimming in liquid, but it's pretty tasty. I almost never finish the entire portion (because it's still cole slaw, after all. Who actually eats cole slaw?), but I usually have a few bites and enjoy the flavor.

Salt Water Taffy: Sometimes my meal comes with a piece of taffy, sometimes it doesn't. I'm not sure  if I just get lucky sometimes or if I'm just unlucky other times. Anyway, it's pretty good taffy, but they should work on their consistency a little.

Cheese Curbs: A friend of mine got the cheese curds once and I tried a piece. I don't care about cheese curds so I don't feel qualified to comment. They tasted like other cheese curds I've tried, for whatever that's worth.

Everything comes with a pickle slice and the world's smallest piece of lemon. I'm not sure if the lemon is just supposed to be a garnish or if they just think one drop of lemon juice is all anybody needs. Either way, it's weird and kind of pointless. Either have a real lemon wedge or no lemon. Luckily there's plenty of malt vinegar on every table, which is the main reason I get fish and chips anyway. I drown my fish in that stuff. I'd drink malt vinegar straight from the bottle if I could. I don't want to go off on a rant here about Anchor Fish and Chips, but they don't have malt vinegar available, just white vinegar... because that's how they do it in Ireland. So to that I say, thank you Mac's for being unpretentious and accommodating to reasonable, expected requests from customers.

The service is another reason why I keep coming back over and over again. Everybody is just really nice, really friendly, and really eager to please. It's the kind of place where people immediately say hello when you walk in, then yell out thank you when you go to leave. It's just a friendly staff that creates an inviting environment. None of them are named Mac, however.

The decor is sparse, and kind of oddly decorated. One wall has a giant mural of a fish, another wall has pictures of boats in some Alaska-like setting, and another wall has a giant poster of a Where's Waldo drawing. Weird. And they always play old school country music, like Merle Haggard, George Jones, etc. I think the mural is really cool and I love old school county, but the the atmosphere does feel like a bit of a mish-mash of clashing styles. But I don't really care as long as the food is good, and luckily the food at Mac's is great. I say check it out.

Hammer and Sickle

A Russian restaurant just opened in Uptown, sandwiched between Bar Abilene and the Lagoon theater. Maybe it's because we're both a quarter Russian ourselves, but my sister Tanya and I decided to give it a try last night. It was ok. Hammer and Sickle is the kind of place I don't regret having visited, because it wasn't bad at all, but at least it gave me the knowledge to know I never have to go back again.

This is the kind of place where you read the menu and think, "wow, this looks really good, " but then you sit down at a table and open the actual menu and think, "I don't want any of this." Also, it's pretty damn expensive.

We both started with cocktails, because it's a Russian place with a huge list of vodka options, so it seemed like the thing to do. What am I gonna do, come to a place called Hammer and Sickle and order a bottle of domestic beer? Well, for our second round we both ended up ordering bottles of domestic beer. Tanya ordered something called The Moscow Mule, which was Smirnoff vodka, lime juice, and ginger beer. I got something called The Sweet Sickle, which was a gimlet made with cherry vodka. Both were ten dollars, tasted liked juice, and were finished in a maybe three sips. I understand that cocktails tend to be expensive, especially when there is no happy hour going on (it was a weekend evening), but ten dollars for something that was maybe 8 ounces at the most and completely unexceptional in flavor is kind of ridiculous.

Next I ordered a Surly Furious, which was the only reasonably priced selection for their tiny tap list, but they were out. So then I ordered a bottle of Bell's Two Hearted and Tanya got a Sierra Nevada, I think. Both were six bucks. First piece of feedback for this place: Have a tap list with more than two beers under ten dollars.

Russian Egg

For food, we got a few "small plates" to share because the "large plates" were expensive and sounded underwhelming. The stroganoff is probably great, but it didn't sound appealing on the first actually warm day of the year so far. If this place is still open next winter (and, since this is Uptown, I have my doubts of it even being here by the summer), I'll gladly come back and give it a try. First we ordered the "Assorti Meat Plate," partly because it was only 7 dollars, and partly because it just sounded so weird. The menu described it as a plate of cured meats, cheese, pickled vegetables, and a russian egg. What the hell is a russian egg? Turns out, it's a deviled egg... that's purple. It was good, and so was everything else on the plate. We got the small plate (since it comes 7 dollars per person, so it could add up if you don't say it's only for one person), but it was more than big enough to share, and all of the meats and cheeses and veggies and pate were great. If I came back, I'd get this again for sure.

Then we got two "Shashliks," where are described as "Russian style BBQ skewers." We got one beef (6$) and one Lamb ($8), both of which came on skewers with vegetables over a side of rice. They were both good, but not great, although for the price they were a good deal. The odd thing was how neither of us could tell which was the lamb and which was the beef. They looked the same, and even after eating everything the most certainty we could get was to say, "I'm pretty sure this one was the lamb," but who knows. Considering the fact that the lamb was more expensive, I'd say just get the beef, since they were maybe just the same thing for all I know. As I said, they were good, but not great, and especially disappointing if you were expecting lamb that tasted like lamb.

The Assorti Meat Plate

As for the service and the ambiance, all I can say is: meh. It's a nice looking bar, although it was a bit small, but the windows were large and offered a lot of light, and since it was a nice day the windows were open to the street which was cool. The service wasn't so bad I'd really complain about it, but it sure wasn't good, wasn't fast, wasn't friendly, and wasn't attentive. She was the kind of server who immediately seemed to size us up as people who weren't going to spend a lot of money, so why bother with us? This is annoying on principle, of course, but also stupid on her part because every server in the Twin Cities should know by now that when Tanya and I go out to eat and drink, we eat and drink. Give us bad service that is so slow we're just ready to leave before the drinks even come, and, well... your loss.

So, anyway, that's Hammer and Sickle, a perfectly fine place that I can't really recommend because it didn't distinguish itself from every other place in Uptown anymore than the lamb they served us distinguished itself from the beef lying next to it. I'd maybe go back sometime during Happy Hour, if only to get the assorti meat plate again and maybe try a different kind of skewer, but I'm in no rush, and I predict it won't last long.

Taco Bell Breakfast

I tried the new breakfast menu at Taco Bell so you don't have to:

Kyatchi

Kyatchi is quite possibly the best sushi I've ever had.

Of course, I offer the caveat that I live in Minneapolis, MN, so what do I know about sushi? Well, let me tell you... I know a lot about sushi and I'm offended by the accusation I just made about myself, and the midwest in general. I've been eating sushi for most of my adult life. I've eaten at nearly every sushi restaurant in the Twin Cities over the past decade, many of which I would rank among the best places I've visited in New York City and San Francisco. I'm not saying I'm some kind of sushi expert, just that I love sushi and eat it every chance I get, and also that I'm probably some kind of sushi expert.

Before dining here last night, about three weeks after they opened on the corner of 38th and Nicollet, I probably would've named Nami as the best sushi I've had in the Twin Cities, or possibly the downtown Origami location, both of which are still strong contenders for the title, but I dunno. The quality and flavor of the fish at Kyatchi was akin to visiting Shangri-La... and then going to a really good sushi restaurant, or something. Anyway, it was good sushi. I would definitely say that the menus at places like Nami or Origami, or even Tango, Fuji-ya, et all, are larger and more extensive than the one at Kyatchi, but when you taste compare the fish you'll understand why that's some what unimportant.

I don't even think you need to get any rolls at Kyatchi, just sashimi, since the fish is so good. Our waiter said something about where their fish is from, how it's shipped to ensure freshness or something, but I'll admit I didn't really pay attention. It's not him, it's me. I generally don't listen when people talk. I'm an asshole. Maybe my sister, with whom I dined last night, listened and will post what he said in the comments, but I have a sneaking suspicion she wasn't paying attention either. Anyway: The sashimi tasted like candy, and was just perfect. Literally from the first taste I knew this place was special. I don't remember exactly what we got, but there was something white, some kind of tuna, and scallops, which were amazing. We also got some rolls too, which somehow had the best rice I've ever had in a sushi restaurant. It was flavorful without being overpowering, and was warm and soft and not chewy like 99% of the rice you get elsewhere.

We also got a side of "Japanese potato salad," which seemed to be just mashed potatoes. They were fine, but bland. I don't need to get those again. They menu also has hot dogs, which seems odd, but they actually look really good, and I suppose are "japanese-ified" (my word, not theirs), with odd toppings. I'll try one of those next time.

The tap list was surprisingly huge, and possibly the most extensive at any sushi restaurant in the twin cities, with some local selections and imports. It was happy hour when we dined, which I think got us $2 off taps, and a few cheaper starters.

Although, to be perfectly clear, cheaper didn't mean cheap, since this isn't a cheap dining experience, but then again, sushi never is. The drink selections for happy hour are great, but I would like to have seen a few more sushi rolls and discounted prices. The only happy hour food we got was the potato salad (more out of curiosity than because it sounded good), and the sashimi combo, which had (I think) four pieces and cost 9 bucks, which is really expensive in my opinion, but it was so fucking delicious I'll totally get it every time I go and have no regrets. We also finished things off with some donut the waiter recommended, which was fine. Hell, it was good even, but it was also just a donut.

Our server's name was Tim, and he was also worth raving about. If you've ever had dinner with me or my sister, then you know how embarrassing and awkward we are, and Tim just rolled with it, and even made a pretty convincing performance of finding us tolerable. He even laughed at some of our jokes, which makes him something of a hero right there. Anyway, if you go to Kyatchi, make sure you sit in Tim's section. He's the nice guy who looks like Crispin Glover.

Here's the highest compliment I can pay to the food at Kyatchi: I forgot to take pictures of almost all of it because it looked so good I just had to eat it. If you've ever eaten with me (or just follow me on instagram), you know how extraordinary that is. I eat a lot of cold meals because I take so many pictures first. But we were nearly done before I realized I didn't take any pictures. Luckily we got another roll so I could take a picture, but I do wish I had gotten more shots of the sashimi since it was as beautiful as it was delicious. But I guess that just gives me one more reason to go back.

Sarpino's

(Guest review by my buddy Jester:)

I was all set to sit on my couch eat chicken tenders from Dulono's and watch Once Upon Time, but when I called to order my food, the woman on the phone told me they were out of chicken tenders. Disappointed, I went to the internet to try to find another place that would bring pieces of chicken to me. I found Sarpino's. I've never ordered from them before, but I was hungry and I wanted some dang chicken tenders!

I ordered my food a little after 4pm and was told that delivery would take 50-60 minutes. When I still hadn't received my food by 5:30, I called to check on it. The man on the other end said that my food still hadn't left the store, but that I could expect it in about 15 minutes. He also said he would take 25% off for the trouble.

At 6:20 I called again to cancel my order. As soon as I did there was a knock on my door. I got my food for free. Two hours later I sat down with my chicken tenders.

They were cold, but pretty good. The BBQ sauce was a little too sweet, but alright. Things were starting to look ok; I finally got my chicken and I didn't pay... and then it happened. I took a bite of my third chicken tender and I hit bone!

So would I tell you to order from Sarpinos? No. I guess I should've just taken it as a sign that I wasn't supposed to eat chicken tenders tonight when Dulono's told me they had none. Lesson learned.

Donald Ate There

This website used to be called "Blog on a Stick," and it contained restaurant reviews of places in the Twin Cities. It is now called "Donald Ate There," and it contains restaurant reviews of places in the Twin Cities.

Why the change? Honestly, I never really liked the old name and since then I've been taking a lot of pictures of my little Donald figure, I thought I may as well included him in the title and overall concept. Also, I stopped posting for a long time because I got bored and figured a site redesign would reignite my interest. Of course,  partly got bored because I kept going to the same places over and over again, but I have since been to lots of new places, and figured this site needed an update.

So... Donald Ate There, where I'll be posting my opinions on places where Donald Ate... There.

Hope you enjoy, and any feedback and suggestions are welcome and appreciated.

JJ's Coffee + Wine Bistro

Uptown has another coffee shop, which at this point seems about as ridiculous as Uptown getting another Thai restaurant, condo development, douche bar, or a third outdoorsy sportswear store sandwiched in between the Timberland and the Northface. At this point, Uptown Minneapolis must be rivaled only by Seattle and Portland for having the highest number of coffee shops per capita, and since almost all of them are truly exceptional, any newbies are going to have to really struggle to not only distinguish themselves, but to justify their very existence. Well, JJ's Coffe + Wine Bistro opened maybe a couple months ago so I just tried it last Friday, and I've been back every morning since then.

JJ's doesn't just prove itself worthy of trying to sell coffee in the Hipster capital of America, but it pretty much ups the game for all Uptown coffee shops. Anyway, I have a new favorite place to hang out in the mornings.

Maybe it isn't even fair to compare JJ's to other coffee shops since it defines itself as a "coffee + wine bistro," whatever that means. I guess it means they don't just sell coffee, but wine, beer, and food as well. So far, I've only come in the mornings so I haven't had a chance to try out their evening selection, but if it's anything like the morning, I'm sure it's pretty cool. To begin with, this is the most beautiful coffee shop I've ever seen, so much so that I actually felt a little intimidated and uncomfortable the first time I walked in. I mean, it doesn't look like a coffee shop, but like some kind of bar you'd find on the lower east side of Manhattan, and I almost expected to turn a corner and see Woody Allen sipping a martini with Spaulding Grey. That's what happens in New York, right? Who's Spaulding Grey? Anyway, everything is shiny (even the wood) and sparkling and clean, with tables along the all glass window wall that faces Lake Calhoun and various hidden booths that are placed in the walls like little nooks. There's even a widescreen TV up on the wall, and their menus are actually vertically hung widescreen tvs as well. That's some fancy stuff right there. You order at a counter that is a little awkwardly placed in the middle of the bar, so there isn't much space to line up, but luckily there has only been a line once.

And the patio is awesome. The chairs are ridiculously comfortable (why are patio chairs almost always horrific?) and the space itself is long and thin so there is a lot of room for tables but you still don't feel as though people are right on top of you. It is also right across the street from Lake Calhoun, so while the view isn't exactly breathtaking, it's quite lovely. 

The service so far has ranged from ok to great. The best service I received from a young Asian woman who was exceedingly polite and helpful and a taller dark haired gentleman with (I think) a mustache and goatee. My other encounters with the servers here left me thinking they were maybe a little bored or otherwise unengaged, which is fine and better than being rude. I also had my dish taken away once by a very beautiful girl wearing a batman t-shirt, but that was the full extent of our interaction, but like Mr. Bernstein's monologue in Citizen Kane, not a day will go by that I won't think about that girl.

The food is unexceptional, but still very good. The first time I came I got a breakfast burrito that was serviceable but boring, and came with a side of salsa that tasted like Pace. That's fine because I like Pace, but I wouldn't recommend it. On my second visit I got a caramel apple fritter that the server suggested I try warm, and it was very good. It didn't taste like it was freshly made nor did it really distinguish itself as something I couldn't get ay any other coffee shop in town, but again... it was a caramel apple fritter so it was good.

(Interjection: For what it's worth, a woman at a table near me just said to her friend, "I don't know where they get their baked goods, but they should switch." But these women actually dragged three tables and put them together lengthwise in the middle of the patio effectively blocking anybody's passage around their group, so clearly they're idiots.)

On my third visit (this morning), I got a breakfast sandwich and it was pretty great. I ordered the "Southwestern" which is an egg sandwich that comes topped with cheese, red and green peppers, and mushrooms, but I think I actually received the "Fargo," which is basically the same thing only without the mushrooms. I'm not sure if I was charged for the more expensive one or not, but it's only a quarter and I didn't really care either way since it was a very tasty breakfast sandwich. As far as these things go, it was probably the best "egg mcmuffin" style sandwich I've had in a coffee shop that wasn't actually a full-on restaurant. This isn't going to beat what you'd get at Common Roots, but I still recommend it highly.

Oh, and since this place is a coffee shop, I suppose I'd better get around to talking about their coffee. Every time I'd come I've gotten something called 494 Blend (I think that's the name) and it's just about the best cup of coffee I've ever had. They don't use a clover or any other type of single cup brewing system nor do I know anything about their roasting and grinding, but this is still an exceptional cup of coffee, and it's the main reason I've come back every day. And, really, everything else aside, a damn good cup of coffee is all any coffee shop really needs.

I say... check it out.

Prime Bar

(This restaurant has closed)

First there was Figlio, a long-standing Calhoun Square staple that was beloved by all in Uptown, had great food, a killer happy hour, and good service. Of course, because it was popular, the management company Parasole (I think) closed it, gutted it, and rebranded it as the phenomenally dismal Il Gatto. Il Gatto was everything that Figlio wasn't: It was dark, dank, had a crummy menu, and was always claustrophobic, and not because it was every crowded, but because the layout was terrible. If you wanted to get happy hour (which wasn't very good to begin with), you had to sit in the tiny bar area at the center of the restaurant, far removed from any windows or views of the outside world. I'd imagine this bar was popular only with sailors used to living in a submarine.

Needless to say, Il Gatto didn't make it, freeing up the prime location for somebody else to swoop in, with the appropriately named Primebar. It's too soon to tell if it will replace Figlio (and the still mysteriously absent Independent) in the hearts and memories of Uptown drunks, but after five seconds I already preferred it to Il Gatto.

Not sure if I've mentioned this yet, but Il Gatto really, really sucked.

To begin with, Primebar is lovely, with big windows that look out on Lake Street, making the new space even brighter and more open than Figlio was. It wasn't the most stunning or striking restaurant I've ever seen, but it was nice and well designed and the best this space has looked in years. For whatever reasons Uptown's restaurants and bars tend to be dungeonous and dank and cavernous, so I always applaud a place that actually allows some sunlight and fresh air inside. I didn't notice any patio seating, but that's ok with me since the tables on the sidewalk next to Lake street was always awful at the previous establishments. I'd much rather sit inside at a window than right on the sidewalk where buses zoom past, bikers knock into me, and those green vest charity beggars hound people for their credit card numbers.

I met my sister at 5:00 on Sunday evening to take advantage of their happy hour that runs from 3-7 Sunday through Thursday. I knew about the happy hour because I looked it up on their website, not because they have it posted anywhere. In fact, as of yet they don't even have a menu posted outside their door, which I find to be appalling. That's kind of a breach of restaurant etiquette 101. It wasn't desolate but not crowded either, and we got a table immediately, near a window and in view of at least three widescreen TVs hanging around the place all showing the Olympics. I love the Olympics and really like being able to check out a TV or two during dinner or happy hour, but if you're one of those people who hates TVs in bars, well... get over it already.

The happy hour menu itself was good for food but lacking for drinks. Well, lacking for beers anyway, since there were only two selections, one is Premium and the other is a rotating "manager's choice" selection, both for $2. Their tap beer selection is astoundingly good, so it's a real shame that their choices for happy hour are confined to one that is really mediocre and another that's a wildcard. I'd rather pay a little more than $2 and have a better selection of beers I'd actually like. There's also wine and well drinks available, but those might be a mixed bag as well. My sister got a gin and tonic that came totally flat. The waitress was understanding and apologetic and exchanged it immediately... with another gin and tonic that was just as flat. I'm not sure if that was a failure on the part of the waitress or the bartender, but that's pretty bad.

The food, however, was great and very well priced. We shared a few dishes, all of which were tasty and mostly made up for the weak drinks.

The pork sliders were pretty big and succulent, but be warned that they come topped with slaw. I used to live in the south so I'm used to BBQ coming smothered in slaw, and this was actually darn good slaw. I'd get these again.

The carnitas tacos were just as good and probably had the same pork, but that's ok because it was delicious. You got two with a side of salsa, both of which were covered with onion, avocado, and cheese (which I picked off because I'm not eating cheese this month).

The deviled eggs were plentiful and about as good as you'll ever get, although I could've done without the bacon (or whatever) on top.

And then we were still hungry so we got the warm pretzels, which seemed more like big loafs of pretzel bread, with honey mustard and cheese sauce for dipping. We definitely weren't hungry anymore after eating them.

Lots of pork there, now that I think about it, but that was pretty much all they offered. There was also hummus if you're into that sort of thing, but that was the only option for a vegan or anybody on a diet. I guess the biggest compliment I can pay to the food is that it all looked so good, I must've forgotten to take any pictures of anything to post here. Oh well.

So that's Primebar: A worthy and welcome new addition that will hopefully save the floundering Calhoun Square shopping center. The service was friendly and inviting (if not altogether exceptional) and the food was great. I liked the look of the rest of the menu and will definitely come back and get a real meal some day, probably after pay day since it's not the cheapest menu I've seen. I say... check it out.

The Lowbrow

The Lowbrow has slowly become my favorite restaurant in the Twin Cities. I've been going there almost every week or so for the past couple months, and if I've been remiss in writing up a review it's because I've been too busy eating their food to write about how good it is. Now, you'll notice I haven't said the Lowbrow is the best restaurant in the Twin Cities, nor that they have the best food or the most exceptional service: They simply have great food, good service, and an exceptional atmosphere that all adds up to the place that has become my first choice almost any time I'm hungry or just want to sit and get a beer. And I have no regrets about that.

I usually come to the Lowbrow for happy hour, since it's pretty great. They have a nice selection of (mostly) local taps for three bucks, similarly priced glasses of wine, and half price nachos which are fantastic and plentiful even if you just get the half-sized portion. I also really love their happy hour for another reason: It's just outside of Uptown (where I live), so it's usually not too crowded, it's never full of hipsters, frat boys, drunk girls, or just plain douches (no offense to Uptown! As I said, I live there and I love it... but you know...), and it's also a nice bike ride so I can trick myself into getting nachos and a couple beers and still think I'm getting some exercise.

My usual routine is to go to Comic Book College on Wednesday afternoon when their new stuff comes out, then take whatever I got over to Lowbrow where I read comics, drink a couple of Fulton Sweet Child of Vines, and usually get some nachos. During happy hour (3pm-5pm weekdays) the nachos are about three bucks, which is the price of a beer. You can also add on beef or pork or order a side of guacamole for an extra charge, but they don't need it. The nachos are pretty much perfect as is, and the salsa it comes with is fantastic... but I do sometimes get meat because meat makes everything better. But forget about the guacamole, since it's not that good. It was kind of bland and overly thick for my tastes. I don't know if they make their own guacamole or buy another brand, but it's the only thing I've ever tried here that was unspectacular.

Sometimes I skip the nachos (or just come for dinner) and get a burger. Their menu says they use "100% grass-fed Minnesota beef," and while that's all well and good, all I know is that they taste fantastic and come perfectly cooked. Anybody who has read my reviews of burger joints before knows that I love my burgers medium rare and rant and rave when a restaurant can't seem to cook a burger properly. The Lowbrow doesn't have this problem, and every burger I've ordered has come perfectly cooked every time. It always shocks me how rare it is to be able to get a burger that isn't... well...  medium rare. And this isn't because some restaurants are afraid of food-born illness, it's just because lots of places don't know how to cook a burger to order, or -- and I don't know if this is better or worse -- just don't care. The Lowbrow cares, and that's one of the main reasons I keep coming back. I also really love their buns, which are soft and tasty and seem freshly baked. It also shocks me how many places get fancy with their buns and use breads that are all but impossible to bite into, but I don't want to start off on another rant...

The burger I get most often is The Fire Breather, which is "chili rubbed with chipotle gouda, sauteed jalapenos, and spicy mayo." If that doesn't sound good to you, you're crazy. And if it does sound good to you, it's actually even better than you think. This would be on my list of the five or so best burgers I've ever had. I've had their other burgers as well, and they're all good because the quality is in the meat and the preparation, but the Fire Breather is definitely my favorite.

However, I've been off cheese lately (in my attempt to last the entire month of July without eating any cheese or drinking any milk), so I've been branching out. I could order the Fire Breather without cheese, of course, but what would be the point? It's sort of like this upcoming Jason Bourne movie starring Jeremy Renner in the lead. I'm sure it will be a good movie, but I'll just rewatch the ones with Matt Damon, thank you very much. Anyway, I've also had their pulled pork sandwich a few times, and it's pretty great, but it's not going to replace something you'd get at a local, dedicated BBQ joint. But it's still a darn good sandwich. Even better is their homemade fish sticks, which is basically just their version of fish and chips. Nobody who doesn't live here would believe me when I say this, but Minneapolis has somehow become something of a mecca for amazing fish and chips, and these more than stack up to the best I've had here. They are smaller and more "stick like," but the fish itself is fresh and perfectly cooked, and the batter is very light so you can really taste how good the fish is. They come with a fantastic house-made tartar sauce, and the waiter even brought along a bottle of malt vinegar before I could even ask, which is always a sign that a place means business.

Oh, and everything comes with fries, and if I haven't mentioned that already, it's only because I was saving the best for last. Here's all I'll say: fresh, house-cut, and perfect.

And the place is just cool, with a huge mural on the wall that some people might find garish but I think it's awesome. The colors are all muted earth tones, the wall paper and art is kitschy without being annoying, and the bar is topped with hundreds of laminated baseball cards. There's a nice selection of tables and booths, and even some tables out front on the sidewalk if you're into that sort of thing. I usually go for a booth, but I've sat outside when I was with people who wanted to be outside, and while I prefer a patio to sidewalk seating, the sidewalk is wide enough that it wasn't a problem.

So... that's the Lowbrow. Just go check it out already, and if you come on a Wednesday around 4:00 and see a bearded guy in the corner reading a comic book, come say hi.

George and the Dragon Pub

I really wanted to love this place, so I was a little disappointed when I merely liked it a whole lot. But considering the fact that they've only been open two weeks, George and the Dragon Pub is off to a great start and has the potential to turn my strong affection all the way toward true love.

GandD is located on the corner of 50th and Bryant, sandwiched between Patina and the Malt Shop in the location that used to be Black Bird. Forgetting the fire that took down Black Bird and Patina, this is a fantastic location for a restaurant and it's in the middle of a neighborhood that has severely been lacking a great local pub. I'm happy to say that GandD has in just two weeks proven itself to be a very good local pub, bordering on great. If you're looking for a beer, the selection is fantastic, with a range including a few local breweries like Summit, Brau Brothers, and Fulton, and some more distant but still nice breweries like Old Speckled Hen. Personally, I'd choose Bass over Old Speckled Hen, but all in all it's a great selection of beers and the older, bald-headed waiter (sorry!) was clearly knowledgeable and excited to answer any questions or offer recommendations.  He wasn't my waiter, but I enjoyed watching his interactions with the tables around me.

They also have a wine list that looks pretty extensive and well rounded, but I don't know nothing about wines so I can't comment. But my friend did get some wine, and it came in a really neat looking glass, so there's that.

The food menu didn't excite me quite as much as the beer menu, but it didn't let me down either. It seemed to be one of those menus that looks great at first glance, but as you read the descriptions, you start to notice things that just sound weird, with almost every selection having at least one ingredient that just sounds... off. Like the cheeseburger that comes with frizzled leeks. Or the Banh Mi with green beans. And while it is definitely cool to have a menu that combines traditional Irish pub fare like Bangers & Mash with more exotic choices like the aforementioned Banh Mi, it will be interesting to see how it goes over in South Minneapolis... a city where people actually consider something like a Banh Mi to be "exotic."

But enough about the menu: Let's get to the actual review already.

I arrived right at 3:00 on a Wednesday afternoon, since that's when they're happy hour begins. I knew this not because it's posted either on their website or Facebook page, but because I had to email them to ask. Happy hour is from 3-5, Monday-Thursday, offering $3.00 taps and certain discounted glasses of wine. No discounted appetizers, which I found disappointing, but the waitress did offer to bring a different menu just for munchies. First piece of advice for George: Don't have a separate, secret menu for cheaper, smaller plates. Just have a couple discounted apps for Happy Hour.


I started with a glass of the Dark Horse Crooked Tree IPA and an order of Onion Rings. The beer was fantastic and the onion rings were exceptional. The rings were big and thickly coated, but still oniony and not greasy at all. They came with a side of some kind of chipotle mayo that was pretty good but not all together amazing. But the onion rings themselves were pretty great and well worth the trip. I mean... if you love onion rings, that is.

I probably could've been satisfied on just the onion rings alone since they were big and plentiful, but I only ate half because I wanted to order something else to make this more than just a review of a plate of onion rings. I really wanted a burger, but the only one that really sounded appealing was the plain version with just tomato and arugula, so I ordered the Banh Mi instead because I wanted to be adventurous and really see what this kitchen can do. Not everybody can make an exceptional burger, but a bad burger is still a burger. A bad Banh Mi, on the other hand, is a disaster.

This one wasn't a disaster, but it wasn't the best I've ever had... but that doesn't mean it wasn't high on the list. The first couple bites were a little off, but then I took the green beans out and it got a whole lot better. I like green beans as much as anybody, but as a side, not as a part of a sandwich. They just are too oddly shaped, awkwardly more crunchy than anything else in the sandwich, and just have a flavor that didn't exactly overpower the other elements on the bread, but it didn't compliment them either. The pork was fantastic with a really nice, interesting flavor, and seemed to be shredded instead of a big chunk which I liked and made it easy to eat. Then there was a nice wasabi mayo, daikon, and pickled carrots. This was a very good sandwich... but take off the green beans.

Unfortunately, the french fries (or "handmade chips") that came on the side left a lot to be desired. They were clearly fresh and hand-chopped, but they just weren't cooked enough so they were soggy and just unappealing. They were thick, which I love, but that just made them all the worse because they seemed limp and flaccid. And I'm talking about french fries here, people! When I go back -- and I will, because bad french fries aside, the place was great -- I'll ask them to make my fries extra crispy. But too be sure, I shouldn't have to do that, since the chef should know already that long, limp, undercooked fries are such a disappointment they can knock a perfect A+ down to a B. Sorry to talk so long about fries, but these had the potential to be just as amazing as the onion rings, but they really fell flat.

About the service I can honestly say that it was both good and bad, since the first server's shift ended midway though the meal so she handed us off to somebody else. I didn't catch anybody's name, but the first young lady was attentive -- but not too attentive, which can be annoying -- helpful, and very friendly. I started out alone just to read and have a beer or two, and she mostly left me alone, coming along only when I wanted her to, which seemed to border on the supernatural. The next guy was fine, but bland and a little too slow and attentive, even forgetting to bring my friend's wine until she asked him about it. But to be fair, when I first arrived there were maybe two other people in the place, but toward the end it was close to filling to capacity, so the difference in service quality had a lot to do with that as well.

I also met the owner Frederico Navarro, who was very friendly and likable. I was reading a comic book, and he came over and asked what it was, then told me he's a big fan of Moebius, so we chatted about him for a bit. I liked the guy and respected his ability to know exactly when to come over and introduce himself, and then when to exit the conversation so he could attend to his job and I could get back to my comic.

So all of this was my long, round about way of saying I really liked my first happy hour / dinner at George and the Dragon, but they still have a bit more work to do before it officially becomes my favorite place to hang out. It's right on my bike route to and from work, so if they ever fix those fries and make the service quality a little more consistent, I'll definitely want to become a regular.

I say... check it out.