Il Gatto

This is not a review.

I didn't eat at Il Gatto because I couldn't find a table. This is going to be a review of my first impressions of the impressive looking establishment that replaced Figlio, one of my favorite places for Happy Hour in Uptown.

Figlio was great because their drink specials and discounted appetizers were cheap and fantastic. Their bar was big and roomy, with lots of tables to accommodate big parties and little nooks and crannies for couples who wanted something a little more intimate.

Il Gatto was the same drink and appetizer specials, but the bar is an entirely different story. Now it's simply one narrow, awkwardly crowded corridor with the bar on the right side and a line of far too few tables on the left. It can hold maybe a fifth of the amount of people that Figlio's bar could, and since it is now removed from any windows, it feels that much more claustrophobic and uncomfortable.

As I said, I couldn't find a table, but even more than that, lacking a table left me no choice but to leave. There is simply nowhere to stand. I can't imagine anybody would want to come here with more than, say, one other person. It's terrible. It's ridiculous. It's even a little heartbreaking. Maybe I'll try it again just so I can see if the food and drinks are good, but if my next visit goes like my one last night, I'll just end up at the Independent again.

Little Tijuana

"NO SUBSTITUTIONS!!"

That's all you really need to know about Little Tijuana, which isn't quite the worst Mexican restaurant in Minneapolis, just the most overhyped and obnoxious. "No substitutions" seems to be their motto, since it was written on the table, hanging from the wall, and written all over their menus. It was almost as though they were somehow taking pride in the fact that they refuse to compromise on giving paying customers exactly what they want.

Now, don't get me wrong... I've worked for years at Starbucks for years so I know just how annoying and overly complicated customer orders can get if you give them too much free range. But... no substitutions? At a Mexican restaurant? That means if you love tacos but don't want lettuce, too bad. If you want a burrito with no onions, find another restaurant. If you want the hot sauce on the side, go to hell!

But even worse than that is how every combo selection only comes with one choice of meet for every dish. That is to say, they have combo plates that come with (for example) a taco, an enchilada, and a tostada... which you can only order as all chicken, beef, pork, etc. But I want a chicken taco and a pork enchilada. Sorry, no substitutions!! I'm sorry, but that's not a substitution, that's a standard order of business at any Mexican restaurant. Nobody every wants the same kind of meat for every dish in a combo platter. That's unheard of. That's ridiculous. That's... just... dumb, terrible, offensive customer service.

And, no, it isn't because of any issues with prices. All of the meat choices were the same price. Little Tijuana is just run by assholes. If you can think of any other explanation, I'd love to hear it.

Or, at least, maybe just our waiter was an asshole who took the whole "no substitutions" thing too far and applied it to the combos even though that isn't an actual rule. But I doubt it, since he seemed pretty adamant and annoyed at the mere fact that we'd even ask. And in every other way, the service was pretty terrible too.

So how was the food? It wasn't bad. It was even good, though it wasn't good enough that it was worth the hassle of dealing with the terrible service or the restaurant's lack of consideration for their diners' opinions or needs. Oh, and they don't have a liquor license, so there's no booze. That's another deal breaker right there.

Bottom line, there's no reason to go to this place when Pancho Villa's is right around the corner. In fact, there'd be no reason to go to this place even if it was the only Mexican restaurant in town. I recommend that this restaurant substitutes their ridiculous policy and terrible service for some that won't piss off their potential customers, or I'll continue to substitute this restaurant for any other one.

The Herkimer

The Herkimer is probably my favorite restaurant in the Twin Cities.

I've actually been a fan of Herkimer since before I even moved to Minnesota. It was down the street from where my sister Tanya lived, so we'd go there whenever I'd fly in to visit. Herkimer was also the place where my girlfriend Shannon and I spent many of our first dates together. So I have fond memories and a warm spot in my heart for the place. But I'm not a sentimental man, and good memories and nostalgic feelings will only get a restaurant so far. No... I go to Herkimer because the beer is great and the food is fantastic.

I'm a simple man. I like burgers, fries, and beer, all of which Herkimer does as well -- if not better -- than any other place in town. And since we're talking about the Midwest -- which has to be one of the major meat and potato capitals of the world, that places it pretty high up among the best I've ever had anywhere. Their burgers are big, juicy, and varied, including a Cajun burger, mushroom and swiss, and a bunch more. I usually get the "Deluxe Mac," which is basically just a Big Mac but with an actually good patty of meat covered with their own version of special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, etc. It's incredible. I also usually order my burger rare, because for whatever reason that's the only way to get them served medium rare. So if you are as particular as I am, keep that little nitpick in mind.

And if burgers aren't your thing, the menu is a lot more extensive than you'd expect to find at most bars. The fish and chips are also fantastic, as are the "tres tacos," which come with a chicken, beef, and pork tacos. I also recommend the pulled pork sandwich. Their pork isn't quite as flavorful as you'd get in a straight up BBQ joint, but for Minnesotan pulled pork, it ain't bad. I don't know what to recommend if you're a vegetarian. I'm sure they have options, I just have never taken the time to care about any of them. I'm always too busy deciding what kind of burger I want to shove in my face.

Their sweet potato fries have garnered numerous awards and achieved much acclaim here in the Twin Cities... and rightly so, though I prefer normal french fries. The sweet potato fries are fantastic to be sure -- and they come with some kind of special, tangy ketchup that is awesome -- but they are a little too sweet to perfectly compliment a burger, in my humble opinion. Luckily for me, their fries are also fantastic. They are thin cut, no frills, french fries with plenty of flavor and just the right amount of crunch. And they are also cheaper, since they come with most of the entrees while the sweet variety are a couple bucks extra.

And be sure to wash down your meal with one of the fantastic German style lagers brewed on site. The Herkimer isn't just a bar, but a brewpub, where all of their beers are brewed just a few yards from where their food is cooked. One wall is actually a giant window looking in on some giant vats that... do something to brew or store beer, I suppose. I honestly know nothing about the production of beer, other than that the vats at Herkimer look impression and the flavors of their beers are wonderful. They have a rotating selection on tap, but they always have a wide enough selection that you'll be able to find something that suits your tastes. And come between 3 and 6 or 10 and close for 2 for 1s and discounted appetizers.

So... the Herkimer. I apologize if this is one of my more boring reviews, but there isn't much to say about this place beyond "this is good, this is also good, and this is good too..." It's my favorite restaurant and I've yet to meet any other person in Minneapolis who hasn't shared my passion for their great food and excellent beers. The highest praise I can say about this place is that just thinking about their name alone is enough to make me hungry.

Blackbird Cafe

Before I formally start my review of Blackbird Cafe, I have a quick piece of advice for any restaurateurs who may have stumbled upon this website: Always offer reservations in your restaurants.

It's just a courtesy to the customer and it will increase your business because people will feel comfortable going to your restaurant because they'll know they'll actually be seated sometime within the hour. And if you absolutely refuse to take reservations (I'm sure you have your reasons beyond simple contempt for your potential customer base, though I'll never begin to understand what those reasons may be), at least have a waiting area that is comfortable and spacious, and not just a two-foot by two-foot area right in front of the door.

But if you are willing to take the risk on going to Blackbird not knowing if you'll be immediately seated or forced to wait near the door in an area more cramped than a phonebooth while you awkwardly stare at the other diners, silently yelling at them in your head to finish their damn meals already and free up that table, you'll discover a restaurant that is absolutely wonderful in every other way. It's worth taking the risk.

Blackbird is exactly the kind of restaurant most people envision when they think about local, independently-owned restaurants: It's cute, cozy, has a friendly, enthusiastic waitstaff, and an ever-changing menu of interesting, delicious entrees. I've been there a few times and have gotten the same thing every time: The Longhorn, an incredible beef brisket sandwich smothered with caramelized onions, tomatoes, and some kind of horseradish sauce. It's awesome. I've also noshed on the other entrees my girlfriend Shannon ordered, all of which were fantastic as well. The Walleye Po' Boy is another standout, though it's really more of a fish sandwich than a classic "Po' Boy" in the traditional sense, but it's still quite good.

The sandwiches are all reasonably priced, with most of them staying under ten bucks. There are also a lot of entrees that sound fantastic -- including nightly specials -- but they are a lot more pricey, though probably worth it if you're willing to splurge. It's not that I've never been willing to splurge, but that I feel no need to when the Longhorn is so fantastic and so cheap. Also, the sandwiches all come with freshly cut french fries that are some of the best I've had in the Cities.

So, I like Blackbird. In fact, I like Blackbird a lot. It's a fantastic, fun restaurant with great, friendly service and fantastic food. But come on... take reservations already. You can call ahead to put your name on a waiting list, but there's still no guarantee you won't have to wait in that tiny area like a schmuck.

5 out of 5

Common Roots Cafe

This is a first in Blog on a Stick's (admittedly short) history: I'm actually writing a restaurant review while sitting in that restaurant. Now, I'm not reviewing Common Roots while at Common Roots because I had such an amazing first impression that I had to whip out my laptop and write about it. I'm writing about Common Roots because, to be honest, I'm always at Common Roots, and I've written many reviews during their exceptional happy hour. Long story short, I'm a Common Roots fan. Though it wasn't always that way.

CR is located on the corner of 26th and Lyndale, in a rather nondescript, almost boring looking brick building that used to house the mediocre restaurant Soba Cafe. I was neither sad nor surprised when Soba closed its doors, because the few times I went there I was incredibly underwhelmed, though I wasn't any more enthusiastic about CR when it opened up as its replacement. They had definitely cleaned up the building and thrown in a few more windows to brighten it up, but the location was still a little too sterile. And the food just didn't interest me. In fact, I only continued to go there because it is quite literally right across the street from my girlfriend's apartment.

When it first opened, you wouldn't be too far off to describe it as Spyhouse with more food. I don't mean that it looked like Spyhouse or event that it offered similar fair, but that Spyhouse exemplifies for me the typical so-trendy-it-hurts Uptown coffee shop. Luckily, evolved past that and actually began to understand that a truely trendy restaurant isn't one that offers organic food served by root people, but one that serves truly fantastic food served by a competent, friendly staff.

Somewhere over the two or so years since they opened their doors, CR just... clicked. They at first prided themselves on having fresh, organic food supplied exclusively from local farms, which is fantastic and noble, but is hardly enough in and of itself. At first, the flavor of the food simply wasn't up to the standard set by their ethics, but I'm happy to say that things have changed and CR can now be confident that their food is every bit as flavorful as it is... ethical, whatever that means.

I suppose I should digress here for a minute and admit that I don't care about supporting local businesses, have no idea what "sustainable" means in regards to farming, and have never been able to tell the difference between organic and nonorganic food, other than that organic is way more expensive so I don't buy it. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to support a local business that deserves it, but I'm not going to do so out of any kind of ethical reasons. I'd love to buy all of my DVDs at Cheapo, but since they charge about twice what Target does, the evil corporation is going to get my money, and I don't feel guilty about that. If that is your thing, Common Roots is the place for you. But if that isn't your thing, Common Roots is still the place for you because their food is so damn good.

Is their burger one of the best I've ever had (no exaggeration) because the cow was grass fed and organically raised, or just because their chef knows how to cook a great burger? I'm sure it was a little of both, but let's not count out the second explanation out of hand. The food at CR is just exquisitely prepared, and their monthly-rotating recipes are all unique and exciting and delicious. But even though the menu regularly changes, they were smart enough to keep the burger as a permanent staple. Though, if I have any complaint about the menu at all, it's that when something really strikes your fancy (and almost everything does), it's really sad when it disappears from the menu at the end of the month.

And best of all is the happy hour, which doesn't just offer Surly taps (and a few other select beers) for $3 and house wines for $4, but all of the appetizers are just $5. And, to be honest, the appetizers are often far more exciting and fulfilling than some of the entrees. The entrees are all great, but are often just variations on similar themes (they'll have pasta, some kind of salad, a fish, etc), but the appetizers are often wholly unique and innovative. But even when they just do something as simple as pizza, they give it their own spin and deliver pizza that is as good as any you've ever had.

Oh, and their freshly made desserts are amazing.

The service at CR is another thing that slowly evolved along with the flavor of the food. Maybe it's because I spent so long as an Assistant Manager at Starbucks, but friendly ("legendary") service is important to me. Something as simple as an "I'll be right with you" -- or even a smile! -- can go a long way toward making a customer feel welcome. Say what you want about the difference between local coffee shops and corporately owned ones, if I want enthusiastic, friendly service I'll go to Starbucks. If I want to talk to a brick wall that only shows emotion when they are actively being rude to be, I'll go to Spyhouse. I don't want to say that the service at CR was rude, but that it was decidedly indifferent. As the restaurant found its niche, they dropped some duds from the staff and brought in a bunch of people who are really quite charming and able at customer service. I still sometimes feel as though I have to initiate conversations with them -- and after a good year of coming here at least once a week, I'm only just being recognized as any kind of a "regular" -- that's still probably my Starbucks training creeping in. They are quite nice and good at their jobs.

And they are all cute as a button too -- male and female -- if you're into that sort of thing. I'm not saying you should go there because the girls are pretty or because at least one of the guys looks like the actor Carey Elwes, but it's certainly better than going to a place where everybody is ugly.

Do I have any complaints abour CR? Well, yeah, a couple. To begin with, the $3 taps you get during happy hour are actually $3.30. I'm not sure if they have tax on beer because it's technically a coffee shop/restaurant and not a bar, but it's a little disappointing. It's not a deal-breaker by any means (since I literally come here an average of three or four times a week), but I'd be remiss in my duties if I didn't mention it. If you actually want a $3 beer that is $3, you'll have to go to Figlio or The Independent. If they really want to compete with other (technically cheaper) Happy Hours in Uptown, they should think about factoring the tax into the overall price. They also might want to extend their happy hour to 7pm instead of 6pm to compete with the Bulldog's, which is right across the street. I much prefer Common Roots, but if I want a beer and it's 6:01 at night, I admit that I go across the street.

Also, the service can be a little wacky at times. Again, this might be because of my Starbucks training, but I think they need better deployment at the register and bar. Occasionally the employees seem lost, not because they are rude or indifferent to the customers, but because they maybe don't know exactly where they should be or what they should be doing at any given time. You'll often be rung up by a person who will then slide to the espresso bar (for example) to make your drink, while the person who just made a drink will wonder around before going over to the register to ring up the next person in line. Often, there will even only be one person doing everything even as the line forms, while a few other people will be stocking or wiping down tables. An obvious way to fix this would be to deploy people to set positions. That is to say, one person should stay on register while another person is assigned to just making drinks. Not only would this speed up service, but I imagine it would minimize cash-handling mistakes because only one person would be assigned to use the register at any given period of time during the shift.

And, again, this is my Starbucks training talking, which is a corporation that, frankly, has customer service and employee deployment down to a science. For me to expect that every other coffee shop in America should master that same science is silly. But still, their system of service could be a little more refined, if not the actual service itself, which is -- as I said -- likable and warm and charming. There are certainly employees here that I like more than others, but none that I dread having serve me should I see them behind the counter when I come in.

The decor that once seemed sterile has also evolved into something that seems more spartan and clean. The patio is one of the best in uptown, since it's on the side of the building and not right on the street, though you do have a good view of Lyndale for people watching (and dog watching, since the patio overlooks the animal hospital, where a pair of dogs often wander out onto the balcony). The restaurant is large and has amble seating, though I think of the back section as the ghetto because it's somewhat dark and dank. Well, I suppose it's not really fair to call it dark and dank, but it's certainly darker and less comfortable than the section of tables near be wall of windows that lines the front of the building. If I can't find a table at the front, I'll sit on the patio. If I can't sit on the patio, I sulk in the back.

Long story short (too late for that), Common Roots is an exceptional restaurant, coffee shop, and purveyor of fine alcoholic beverages. Come here almost any day of the week for a great local brew, an amazing burger, a delicious cookie, or just to say hello to me. I'm the guy in the corner writing a restaurant review or reading a comic book.

5 out of 5

Minnesota State Fair

The giant turkey leg is the perfect analogy for my annual State Fair experience. I always buy a turkey leg because I think I'm going to love it, and that first bite is so delicious. But after three or four bites, I realize it's just a giant, fatty piece of gristle. I've got crap on my face, grease running down my arm, and the realization that I still have to walk around with a giant wad of meat on a bone that would embarrass Fred Flintstone. Basically, what I'm saying is that the State Fair kind of sucks.

Of course, nobody is going to agree with me, because for whatever reason the two weeks or so during the fair are sacred. Maybe it's because I'm not from MN and thus wasn't born into the tradition that I'm able to look into it with an objective eye as the overblow, overrated flea market that it is. But, then again, maybe not. After all, when I was a kid we New Englanders had something called "The Big E" that was basically just the MN State Fair but for all of New England, and I remember growing tired of it as soon as I was able to walk. But take my opinion with a grain of salt because I've never liked rides, I've never liked crowds, and I hate being overcharged for mediocre food.

But if you love rides, crowds, and paying way too much for mediocre food, the State Fair must be a god send. To be sure, some of the food is good. I love funnel cake and the stuff at the fair is always delicious. But other than that... meh. People rave about the food and talk about how much they eat, but I don't get it. This year, I didn't get the turkey leg because, while waiting in line, I realize it was $7.50 (!!) I could spend on something I might actually enjoy. So I actually ended up spending 50 cents more than that on a buffalo steak kabob that, while good, was still nowhere near as moist or flavorful as something I could cook at home. And then there are things like Sweet Martha's cookies that are very good, but still not as good as the cookies my girlfriend makes. And if she's not around, I could go across the street to Common Roots or down the block to Bob's Java Hut and get cookies the other 50 weeks out of the year that put Sweet Martha's to shame. Granted, I won't get a bucket of cookies, but I also won't have to pay 15 bucks either.

And while I hate to harp on the money, it never ceases to amaze me how overpriced everything is. Six dollars for a cup of Premium? A six pack at a liquor store costs about five dollars. Seven fifty for a turkey leg? Four bucks for a corn dog? And add on to all of that the exorbitant cost to get in, which is insulting because you're basically paying admission for the opportunity to pay more money.

But, at the end of the day, it is a fun way to spend an afternoon, but only if you're with cool people with good attitudes. But, then again, cool people with good attitudes are fun to spend time with anywhere.

Still... I kind of regret not getting that turkey leg. So what does that say about me?

Burger Jones

Burger Jones opened its doors only two or three months ago, and they're already selling t-shirts at the front register. I'm guessing they were probably selling t-shirts on opening night. Of course, there's nothing wrong with a restaurant that sells memorabilia, but when you start selling memorabilia before memories can even begin to form, it makes it clear you aren't just selling food, you're selling a brand. Again, there's nothing inherently wrong with that, but the food better damn well live up to the hype you're trying to create, and -- at least judging from my first visit tonight -- it definitely does not.

Burger Jones is located in the Calhoun Village Shopping Center, at the end of the mall where Applebee's used to be. All things considered, it's a step up from Applebee's, but honestly not by much. At least Applebee's was cheap. At Burger Jones, most of their burgers run about ten bucks, and that's all you get. If you want fries, you have to shell out 3 bucks for an order, and another dollar for each "dipping sauce." A pet peeve of mine is burger joints that only serve chips, forcing you to pay for an upgrade to french fries. Burger Jones doesn't even give you chips, which makes it all the more insulting when you see how huge the platter is, containing only a burger that could politely be described as "modestly sized." They could've even have thrown in a pickle or even some kind of garnish?

I ate with my girlfriend Shannon and my sister Tanya and we split the "Tower," a big basket of regular fries, waffle fries, and sweet potato fries with your choice of 3 dipping sauces. It was definitely enough for 3 people to share, and at 10 bucks it wasn't that expensive, considering that the fries were hand cut, freshly cooked, and quite delicious. But, still, I'm devout in my belief that fries should come with a burger at no additional cost, especially considering how high the cost already is.

As for the burgers, they were ok but just ok. I might even go so far as to describe them as being "pretty good," but that's about all the praise I can muster. I ordered the Black and Blew Burger, which came topped with black pepper, onions, and blue cheese. Shannon ordered the Green Chili Burger, which came "smothered" in what seemed like a very limited amount of green chili. Tanya got something called a "Hangover Burger," which had a fried egg over the beef patty, and an even more limited amount of hot sauce. All of the burger sound interesting and almost exciting, but they were all missing... something. Upon reflection, I realized that that something was flavor. They simply didn't have much flavor, which was odd considering the abundant variety of toppings on each burger.

My burger was the best, but only because I love blue cheese and that was pretty much all I could taste. The hangover tasted like a fried egg, which the green chili was almost non existent in my bite so all I could taste was a burger that tasted fresh and high quality but ultimately lacking in any real taste. Also, we all ordered our burgers "with a little pink" (in favor of the only other choice offered "no pink"), but they all came decidedly unpink, probably just a few degrees below well done. Not cooking a burger to order is always unacceptable, but at least it's somewhat understandable when a diner offers a vague description like, "medium well." But when the only choices you offer are "some pink" or "no pink," you damn well better get the color right. And they didn't, and not just on one burger, but on all of them. That means it wasn't a fluke but a general lack of competence or consistency on the part of the cooking staff. It couldn't have been a miscommunication, because all of our burgers came labeled "some pink." I hate to harp on this point, but not being able to cook a burger to order is kind of a deal-breaker for any burger enthusiast.

The service was pretty fantastic, however. Our server Eric was friendly, enthusiastic, and attentive. If there was any problem with the service, it was that it was too fast. Our meals came about ten minutes or so after we places our order. I sure don't like having to wait a long time for my meal to arrive, but I also don't want to feel rushed. Getting seated and out the door within 40 minutes made me feel as though our enjoyment of the meal was a lot less important than being able to fill that booth a few dozen more times before closing the door. This complaint is in stark contrast to the horror stories I had heard about excessively long wait times to get a table. We were given a table immediately, and then almost forced our the door at record speed.

Burger Jones is one of those places that just... is. It's there, people eat there, but I can't see it acquiring the same popularity held by the other restaurants owned by the same management company. Salut, Figlio, and the Good Earth (et all) are fantastic restaurants with wonderful food that offer a value for your dollar. Burger Jones feels overpriced and underwhelming. When it was first announced, the owners said it would be the ultimate burger joint, with a long menu of burgers ranging from gourmet to diner-style, but it really has a surprisingly small menu of less than exceptional selections.

Sure, they only opened recently and I probably shouldn't judge them too harshly considering that, but... come on. T-shirts? Call me petty for harping on a point, but I can't help but feel that the time and money spent on manufacturing souvenirs would've been better spent on chefs who don't overcook a bland, tasteless burger patty. Next time I actually have a "jonesing" for a good burger, I'd sooner go to Herkimer, Bulldog, Matt's, the Nook, or a dozen or so other places across the Twin Cities that offer exceptional burgers and actually offer a good value for your money.

2.5 out of 5

The CC Club

Shannon and I went to The CC Club for dinner the other night after much deliberation and discussion. We had been there before for drinks with some friends a while ago and had a dismal experience. Horrible service, a dank, dirty atmosphere, and too many loud, obnoxious drunks. But maybe dinner time would be better? And... it was. But I still don't know if I ever need to go there again.

We walked in a few minutes past 7:00pm and were stopped by a guy sitting at the first booth eating a platter of tacos. He demanded to see our IDs, so he was either a bouncer or just a guy who loves eating tacos and looking at strangers' drivers licenses. Either way, it was a little weird to show an ID just to get into a pub at dinner time. So if you're 20 years old and just want a burger, move along, son. No luck eating here. And then, after were sat down at a booth near the center of the room, a waitress took our drink order and then asked if we were going to be paying by cash or credit. When I said it was going to be credit, she said she would need my card upfront in order to open a tab. Again, this was dinner time. Being forced to open a tab or pay immediately is a policy that makes sense later at night when there are drunk people demanding drinks, but it hardly seems necessary when you're sitting at a table and ordering dinner. But, whatever, that's their policy and it's their right to enforce it.

The drink specials were a few different mediocre taps for 3 bucks a piece, which is pretty much the norm for an Uptown Happy Hour, though their happy hour runs until 11pm most nights which is pretty cool.

I got the chicken tender basket, which came with a generous six pieces of chicken, fries, cole slaw, toast (?), and a choice of either barbecue sauce, honey mustard, or both. Honestly, who's not going to choose both when given that kind of option? The menu boasted that the tenders are the "best in town," and while I probably wouldn't go so far as to say that's accurate, I certainly can't think of any that are better. They were darn good chicken tenders. The fries were good as well, but nothing memorable or all that special. They were just fries. The toast was toast, and I surprised myself by eating both pieces and kind of wanted more. I can't comment on the cole slaw because I don't eat that crap.

Shannon got a patty melt, which was also pretty good as far as these things go. It was a good, greasy burger smushed between two pieces of bread, and smothered with onions and cheese. CC Club is one of those places where the burgers only come with potato chips for some reason, so if you want fries you'll have to pay extra. But at least the chips were quite good. I'm not sure if they were from a bag or home made, but if they were home made I wouldn't be surprised.

Service was perfunctory without being all that good or all that bad. She was there when we needed her and was probably nice enough, but not so nice that I really remember. Shannon did spill half a glass of beer, however, and the waitress was nice enough to bring her a new one free of charge. At least... we think it was free. We never actually got an itemized so that kind of remains a mystery, but I'm pretty sure it was free. Anyway, that tipped the service over the line past perfunctory to actually being good. So there you go.

All things considered, the CC Club has good bar food, but I don't think it compares with the Bulldog which is right across the street, nor does it hold a candle to The Herkimer or the Uptown Bar, all of which have exceptional bar food and much better ambiance. But CC Club is definitely the cheapest of the four, and it is certainly good enough for at least one visit, but I don't feel the need to go back. It's the kind of place I probably wouldn't visit of my own volition, but if a friend wanted to, I'd definitely be up for some chicken tenders and toast. But I'm still not gonna eat the cole slaw.

3 out of 5

Uptown Art Fair

My personal opinion of the annual Uptown Art Fair is kind of biased by the fact that I live in Uptown, right along the mall that's pictured in that photograph. The fair is literally spread out all around my apartment building, so for me it isn't fun, it isn't charming, and it isn't anything special. It's a nuisance. It's just three days where I can't find anywhere to park, can't sit in my apartment without hearing crowds of people walking by or live music blaring away in the distance, or do something as simple as walk to the grocery store to buy some milk without navigating through crowds a thousand people deep.

But if you don't live right in the middle of the fair, I guess I could see how it might be kind of neat.

And just for the record, free parking is provided for uptown residents whose roads are closed for the fair, but it's such a pain in the ass it's not even worth the trouble. A week or so before the fair, some office in the basement of some building in Uptown is open for, I think, three odd hours for only two days where you can pick up a parking pass on a first come, first serve basis. I didn't bother with it this year because the past two times I did it the parking lot provided was so far away and so awkward to get to that it was actually less convenient that just parking a mile or so away away from the fair. Last year the "parking lot" was in an abandoned lot with no signs or markings designating it as any kind of parking lot, on the end of a dead-end street that didn't even have a street sign posted. And I'm not making this up.

But enough about me and my troubles: How is the fair?

The fair is... ok, if you're into that sort of thing. To be honest, even if I didn't live here, I wouldn't really be into that sort of thing. It's fun to walk around and check out the booths, if it's not too excruciatingly humid (which would be a rare thing indeed for Minneapolis in the middle of August), since much of the art is quite spectacular. If you love local art -- or any art, for that matter -- there is a lot of really cool, really well done stuff to be seen and purchased. I've certainly never been at a loss for things to admire and wish I could purchase, but I never do because it's all so damned expensive. I understand that artists have to make a living, and that their supplies are very costly, but a few thousand dollars for a painting is a luxory I've never been able -- or willing -- to afford. So only come if you are very, very rich, or just looking at the fair as an extended, outdoor museum as I do.

And then there's the food, which is just as overpriced but also mediocre. If you love the similarly overpriced, medicure food from the State Fair, I guess you'd like the food here too, although even you would have to admit the varriety is limited. Personally, I don't want to pay 6 bucks for warm, flat beer or similarly exhorbitant fees for a crummy hot dog or a tiny falafel. Although to be fair, considering how quickly restaurants have been closing lately in Uptown, it is nice to finally be able to get some decent, fast grub without having to go to either McDonald's or Jimmy Johns.

So... the Uptown Art Fair. It's worth checking out if you are willing to drive around for an hour looking for a parking space in order to look at art you won't buy and eat food you won't like. If you decide to come by, be sure to knock on my window and say hi.